luxe

jason’s hat finished
Originally uploaded by natashafialkov.

i finished the hat, which came out pretty good, a learning experience. there are more photos under the knitting link for those who are interested. i got buttons for the sweater, i may finish it tonite.

we got groceries, went out to lunch with my in-laws. we had a nice time. my mother-in-law wore the drop pearl earrings that we got her for x-mas, which i hope she likes, they looked really pretty on her.

other than that, feeling a little tired and odd today, i have been smelling this bad smell for the last few days that no one else can smell, or tell me that anyway. i hope i don’t smell funny. i sit next to whoever and think they smell funny and then i smell it later too. maye a bloodclot in the brains? wait, i think there is just a small transister radio in my head, so maybe the wiring is bad. that is what is in a radio, right?

oh, i got these icebreakers sour orange mints/gum pellets. while they are very good, they give me a stomachache. i eat them anyway. i have more photos to post…

yesterday was dan’s last day. he was working and in the middle of a tattoo ran to the bathroom and puke his guts out. he looks bad. i don’t know if he is just anxious, or what.
anyway, i left early because my appointments were done. i ran up the street to a boutique called “on the avenue” that i thought my mom would like, i got my shoes from zappos from her, which look insane.
jason h. came over and we went to dinner at the baggy knee and then came back here and he showed me some blog stuff, so that was cool. that was really all.
i am almost done with jason b.’s hat. i am using that brown sheep wool, the bulky one, and it is so nice to knit with. knits so quickly. i am sold. not itchy, not multiple ply and beautiful. i am working on the crown, so i will probably finish it tonite.
we are getting groceries today, so i will get buttons for maddy’s sweater and it is done! yay! my first sweater and it is a cardigan and it i did buttonholes. i rock! nah. yeah, i do. yup. laters.

heather’s s n p shakers
Originally uploaded by natashafialkov.

long day, although i got a new tote bag/purse from a really cute boutique down the street. i think i may take a photo. it has been moderately busy at work, and i am ready to not be other people’s secretaries for knuckle-dragging oafs. it will be nice when that is over. jason is coming up tomorrow and said he will help me with a web page/blog so i can make my amazing ideas a reality. i will need a site for metamorphosis and animus that is up to date anyway. i need to try to get a hold of our old web guy and see if i can get things updated, or at least get the info. simone popped in today and seemed ok. i think he realizes that i am stretched a little thin. it was a strange day. i came in and the bathroom window had been open, i think, unless someone, who?, opened it today, which isn’t good and some other odds and ends. also, dan’s friend/client today had a small entourage who were under my feet and in my way, while acting aloof, as though i am the cleaning lady, or something, which i guess i sort of am, at the moment. i came home with an amazing migraine, konked out for an hour or so and woke up feeling good, although it feels like it is sneaking back up on me, so i may try to sleep soon. i have a somewhat busy day to-morrow and it’s dan’s moving day i guess. i need to make a list of stuff to do for the NEW IMPROVED shop and try to figure out dollar amounts and start getting an order for what goes where and when. so exciting. i went to penelope’s to show them maddy’s cardigan and they oohed and aahed. i am a whore for knitting attention. oh, go on. no really, go on. heather said she would stop in as well, but you know. my mom has my crazy boots that she bought me from the best store in the world, zappos.com, and she said she would bring them to me at work to-morrow. yaaaaaaaaaay, shoes! crazy looking pink pony hair 4 in stilletto shoes. hooooray! i am delirious. nothing seems spelled correctly again today. i have a headache, gimme a break.

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Originally uploaded by natashafialkov.

last night i was so tired and out of it that i didn’t even answer the phone. i couldn’t read or knit or anything. no fun. anyway, i woke up with all three cats on me, but they were sleeping and not bugging me, so it was nice. had my coffee and english muffine, and i’m feeling good. or as good as i get. i started jason’s hat, i am going a half size bigger on the needles b/c they say one size fits most and i think he has a big head. i am a little worried. the brown sheep bulky yarn is gorgeous. i got the old sage color, so it is a fatigue-y green. it has a nice varience in thickness.
last night when i got home from work, tired and out of it, i parked across the street and the trashy neighbor that rents the corresponding apartment was coming home and leaned out of her window and said BITCH! so i waited till she got out and stood in front of her house and asked her if there was a problem and she shut her mouth, which surprised me. for those of you that have ever been at my house, she is the one that curses at her 3 year old son, jacob, and is generally really loud and obnoxious. so i went off on a rant to jake, who who was already in a bad mood about everyone acting like psychos over parking spaces, which is his pet peeve, when people park in front of our house, and he gets irate about it. i was so tired and felt so strange i was ready to slap that woman, although she is much bigger than me and i don’t know how to fight. i could slap and run for it. i can’t run very fast though.
i am gearing up to remodel the shop, i dreamed about it. i should put a hot tub in. i want to redo the bathroom, which is the grosses bathroom in the world at the moment. our toilet rocks, has permanent mineral stains, the sink has paint stains on it, and sprays water all over the user and there is no mirror in there. it is really small, but i’ll pimp it out. mink toilet seat. that is all, you know since last night. oh, i have been reading the new wm gibson novel, pattern recognition, which is nice light reading, although i have a stack of the usual heavy reading ready to go, but i have been knitting when i would usually read. i swear i will learn to do both.

after a night of no sleep, and a pain patch that may or may not be too strong, i can’t even focus ny eyes. i feel obligated to make at least a short post. i haven’t read or knitted even tonigh. took a bath rather than watching the oc. i am so out of it, i will just chat at ya to-morrow morn.

sink….
Originally uploaded by natashafialkov.

i spent the last couple of hours looking on the internet for gifts for my mom to take to my cousins in australia, only to realize that shipping on an order of jewelry was $78. for 3 day. jewelry. not bricks of gold. so after all that, i didn’t order it.
the weather is wretched. jake called andd told me not to go to work, but i have appointments and i ditched out early yesterday to be with peeps. and kahlo is puking today.
pavel kept me up all night, i literally didn’t sleep at all, although now he is quiet and sleepy and i need to get up. coffee will be my savior.
my landlord called me this morning and i told him about dan leaving and that i wanted to remodel, which he said was fine. new bathroom, get that shit off of the walls. oh do i hate it. take the ugly flash off of the walls. i hope i get some cash together to get new stuff and advertise. jason b texted me back last night and said he would prefer a beanie to a hat and he was excited, which makes me feel good, cause i love making stuff for people. i may have posted that already. the other jason said he wanted to come out this weekend and would help me fix up bloggy. he is nice to me, even though i was slightly, well, evil to him. jg called and said he was stopping in today, which is cool, i have not seen him in a while. i am so tired. i feel high, in fact. i need to get moving, i have appointments early.

pavel and his papa
Originally uploaded by natashafialkov.

strangely, when jake falls asleep, there is no cat, pavel crawls in later, and rubs his face on him, he loves him so so much. he bites me.
anyway, my dear friend amy is going to grad school in the fall and may be coming back sooner. i don’t want to say more, but i would love to have her back. hopefully she won’t be bored and sorry and sick of me when she comes back.
my partner at work has his last day on saturday, so that is exciting. not that i don’t really like him a lot, but i do a lot of taking care of other people, and i am very pleased to not do that anymore. i am eager to get the new angle of the business started, get rid of all the ugly flash and make things look fresh. gabe wants to learn the basics of tattooing, i told him that there really would not be room for him to work, but i would show him what i know. he has done so much for me, and if this worked out, maybe he could do better for himself financially. i don’t know. i know simone wants an apprenticeship, but i am not going to have anyone working for me other than a person on phones, or doing cleaning. i want to do cosmetic tattooing, only do things by appointment now. i don’t want to depend on anyone, i want to know that things are done the way i want them to be done. i am sick so much, i don’t want to feel guilty if i don’t come in. my responsibility is to myself first. i can’t be everyone’s mom anymore. after this shit with jess, i don’t need anymore new friends. most people are vampires, and i don’t need to stick my neck out, try to give people a chance to have them rip me off, lie about me and sponge off of me. if their mom’s want to be taken advantage of, their very few friends want to listen to their fake health complaints, stories about love affairs they never had and general bullshit, that is all on them, but i get my drama from general hospital, or reality tv. that fills the quota. it really really does.
i finished knitting the cardigan. i need to put buttons on it, and got ones that were too small. that is it though, it is sewn and looks really cute. i am going to make a matching headband and then i will mail it.
my mom called me to say that the zappos order came and the shoes look amazing. i am excited. i had such a nice time with her on monday, it gives me hope that maybe we can have a good relationship someday. i have never really felt like i am a part of my family, i don’t think they feel any different from the way i do, and i don’t feel like there is anything i can do to change it. i was so close to my dad when i was little, and i just feel like he isn’t very impressed with me in any way. after the whole wedding business, things seemed even more clear, that i am not so important to everyone. not that they hate me, but they could take me or leave me.
um, i am going to start jason b’s hat tonight i think. there is one in hollywood knits that is a seaman’s hat, get your mind out of the gutter, that i think i will try to make.

maddy’s cardiagan about 1/2 done…
Originally uploaded by natashafialkov.

i awoke to the dulset tones of cat retching…peeps is not feeling well, and has puked at least 10 times all over the house. it’s just foam, so i’m not sure if she ate something bad, or what. i tried to give her hairball medicine, but she wouldn’t eat it, and the kitten did, i smeared it on her arm, but she just went in the bathroom and sat in the corner with it on her arm, so she must feel pretty crummy. the kitten is hanging out with her in there, and i know that doesn’t help.

erica knight, the author of simple knits with a twist was on knitty gritty making some things from her book, including the plastic bag bag. they rate it as easy, not saying anything about the fact that cutting the bags to knit with may take you a month. or three. mm. that is really all. i better go take a shower.

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Originally uploaded by natashafialkov.

having a bad day, as far as my body goes. i feel bloated like a blimp and my back hurts, my legs, you name it. all the cats have circled round and my husband is asleep. he has been working a lot and is pooped so much of the time. i have a deep sense of guilt about all of the things he does for me, for us. i do the smallest things for him and it means so much to him. when i make him dinner, he always acts like it is awesome. always. he is so cute. i like to think that i am a good cook, and when i am really trying, i admit i can make a good meal, or good bread, whatever, but there is this beef sweetpotato stew with a thai flair to it that he goes crazy over, or shepard’s pie, or baked ziti. or sugarfree chocolate pudding with hazelnut syrup in it, he acts like it is the food of the gods. he is such a sweet person. so generous, never wants much of anything from me. i make the bed. unpack the dishwasher. cook most meals. he does most everyhing else and works more than anyone i know, and still never gets annoyed at me for being too tired to do things. i am fighting to say too tired and not lazy.

anyway, i need to get a game plan together for the shop or rather clinic, get my press kit and advertising ready to go. i feel like things are coming together. i feel positive about it, excited. there needs to be something like this in the area, and i am here to supply it.

i had such a nice time hanging out with my mom looking at shoes. we like to do the same things. i hope we can continue to have a better relationship. i know that the rest of my family think i am an utter alien, i guess i don’t know what they are about either, not for lack of trying. you can only get shot down so many times before you move on. if they don’t want to know you, they won’t. no matter what. i need to go for a massage soon, i feel like a mess. i hurt everywhere. i’ll be better to-morrow. my friends are such a comfort to me, i have wronged some more than others, and most all have always given me another chance, just acted like it never happened. i got in a fight with amy when jess was still in the picture, and she backed down partly because i think she knew she had judged her at face value only (which was accurate), but mostly because our friendship was more important to her. and i feel sorry for being such a bitch. we did wait to pass judgment until her psycho self surfaced full-on, and even then amy never gave me an i told you so. she listens to my moans and groans and sends me cute cards and handmade things, little presents. she is a wonderful person. the better i know her, the more i love her. she is my favoritie librarian to be of all times.

natasha and amy
Originally uploaded by amyr.

this photo is of amy and myself, i think about 20 years ago. one does not think they look different and it just sneaks up on you. you have that different look in your eyes and then 5 years pass and that twinkle that you took for granted is gone. hm. dan has his last day at work on saturday. i am more than ready to start moving and shaking. maybe i’ll shake first. i just want to revamp everything and give it a feminine vibe, this is about me now. i don’t have to think about anyone else but my clients and myself.

i am 3/4 done with maddy’s sweater, i may finish it tonight and just add the buttons and the blocking and then do jason b’s hat. ok. i guess that it all for the moment.