luxe

Mae%20%26%20Projects%20017
Originally uploaded by natashafialkov.

so, i woke up late, and i put spray tanner on last night because i look really sickly, and even though i let it dry and was careful it is all crazy and streaky and one foot is tan, and one not. hmmf. i have had a lot clients ask me if i would do airbrush tans, and i think i would. i myself need it. i need to look into it. as usual, i look like a jackass. at least my face doesn’t look strange. the waking up late thing, is an issue because i feel so terrible when i wake up that unless there is no way around it, i insist on having coffee and chilling out for an hour before i rise. i insist. so i need to get up anyway. i went to eat my lo carb noodle kugel which i didn’t put in the fridge which has a spot of mold on it. i smelled it and thought…welllll…whichis so not like me…and then decided just coffee was fine.
kitten is under the blanket, his newest thing, attacking peeps who is on top of the blanket. he also sticks his legs up in the air, i dunno why, while under the blanket. he is odd. he woke me up every hour since 4 because he was bored, laying on his side scratching my back with his feet, getting in my face. i said, here, play with your socky. he wasn’t into it.
i hoping the wheel shows up today, it came from new york and supposedly went out on monday….so….we’ll see…anyway i need to get up. sigh. it looks like a blanket ghost is attacking peeps, who is studiously ignoring said ghost, but for a growl.

anymore yarn store names?

basketostraw
Originally uploaded by natashafialkov.

i swiped this adorable picture from rickrackruby…how incredibly cute!! i need to find out how to buy these cuties.

i went with gabe to the thrift store today and scored a purse and a tote, both cute, 2 aprons and a bunch of cute linens, some to use, some for other projects in the future. i will post them to-morrow.

i went to the farmer’s market and got a really nice roasted veggie dip for jake, some bread for him and a muffin and turnover. i got nuthin! on the way back i stopped at the used furniture place and got a strange little chair, i will post it to-morrow also, that looks like a spinning chair to me!!

speaking of spinning, no dice yet, hopefully to-morrow. i saw my ups guy and he shrugged….nooooooo!! i dyed the last of my natural wool with koolaid, a really vibrant orange, green, and a soft pastelly green. i will use em tonite to try to quell the wheel urges.

also, i appreciate all the comments about the knazis. is that pc to say? i am a jewess after all. anyway, i know why they do it, because they are joyless control freaks, but i see all of these phenomenal knitters and spinners that are the most gentle, kind, nurturing and creative people i have ever met. fiber people seem like a different breed to me. i have felt so welcomed and supported…constantly having sweet, thoughtful comments on my blog and in my email and getting wonderful gifts in the mail, just because. i certainly appreciate the time, patience and skill required in lace knitting, but sometimes people just want to have instant gratification or make something cute for their kid. and it is fun to make a hat in a day, or a scarf in a couple of hours. especially since the recipient will like it as much as the shawl that took a year. sadly. anyway, i will shut up, but i realize that my supporters are much more impressed with the things i make and do than my loved ones are, even though the are supportive, as well, but you guys really know what goes into things. it means so much that you check in often and have such fantastic things to say. i make something and am in a rush to post it so you can see it and let me know what you think.

you girls rock!!

i found this adorable pattern for a …amelia hat. this website has really great free hat patterns and is set up to give hats to people who have lost their hair due to chemo which would be such a great thing to do. imagine going through a terrible trial like that and getting a wonderful handmade hat! i have seen similar programs that make shawls and blankets for people who are sick or displaced and i think that is amazing, too.

also, i saw this adorable pattern for a crocheted furry flipflop on the knitting fiend’s bloggy. whilst i do not know how to crochet, it seems like it is just looped around the strap and pulled over and over, and i can do that. i saw them doing it at kathy’s kreations, and the knitted version looks crappy.

to tie in with this, it is clear that lucia, of the knitting fiend is not as i have heard said a “trendy” knitter, although she makes some projects that are quick and cute…and ponchos and scarves, even. many of the blogs i have seen with master knitters have really nasty things to say about new knitters, and it being trendy. it reminds me of when i was in high school and got mad when anyone who i percieved to be undeserving liked a band that i liked first. who does it hurt if knitting is trendy right now? there has been a really great movement of cooking and decorating and crafts and having families and all sorts of things that women who tried to be the least bit feminist did not do for many years, due to the stigma attached to it. i think it is wonderful for people to be able to do things that they love, that relieves stress and is creative, whatever the hell it is. even if you don’t make anything that isn’t square. even if you do it all in knit stitches. even if, gasp!, your stitches are twisted, tension is bad, or, gasp!, you use cheapass squeaky yarn. the horror!! who the fuck do they care? i thought i was catty! i won’t mention names, but everyone starts somewhere and if they get bored of it, who cares? the surge in interest in knitting and so many other traditionally non-feminist things has caused all kinds of really neat books and supplies to come out, so you can do all sorts of things and have wonderful yarns and fibers and recipes and whatever. anyway, i will stop ranting. it makes me happy that our little stitchn bitch has so many members from all different walks of life, interesting, smart, cool women with lots of different things to bring to the table. so there, you mean old women, sit by yourself and work on the same sweater in itchy yarn on number 2 needles for 2 years if you want. and i hope it doesn’t fit!!

i hope my wheel comes to-morrow!! i cannot wait. i cannot wait. i cannot wait.

oh yaaaaahn!
Originally uploaded by natashafialkov.

heather and i were supposed to do something and i am pooped and funky. i need some coffee and locarb eats and see how i feel then.
i spun on my drop spindle, sheila (she is from australia) last night with the merino/silk i got from the scary fiber shop and i love silk!! ooh is it nice. strong and long and soft and shiny. what more could you ask for? not much. i bought 7 oz which will go fast, i imagine.
oh yeah, the yarn harlot is from 5-7 at my lys. i am already thinking i may not go. i really should though.

s15dt
Originally uploaded by natashafialkov.

it is swedish. its name is louet s15. i need to meet the baby first to decide on a name. my awesome husband put it on his card for me and i also got some fiber, to boot. oooh…i got it from bountiful spinning supplies. i got free shipping and everything goes out on monday, i am told. they had prices that were a lot cheaper than anything else i found, in fact i got the wheel for $328, so jake told me to upgrade a bit. the s17 was $238 free shipping, i normally see it for 280-300. i was psyched. anyway, as soon as it comes, i will get some spinning lessons with eileen. the lady from autumnhouse farms sounds amazing, but it is quite far away and her lessons start at 6 hours long, free for life if you buy a wheel from her. i do want to take a trek out to check out her wares, but she would have had to order the wheel and it would have been more expensive, so i just ordered it.
the woman that owns knots and treadles, no website, called to say she was in, so we popped in after groceries to this barn-like building filled with looms, fiber, yarn, crap, garbage, and dust. and more dust. oooh. i feel dirty. the lady was a little odd, and she had all this incredible stuff that you can’t buy anymore, but it is so dirty in there that i would be afraid to buy any of it. i bought some merino/silk top and some merino, i think anyway, rust colored fiber because they were in bags. and they still smell musty. she talked and talked and i itched and tried not to touch my face. it was gross. i bought stuff because i felt like i should. i didn’t spend much. most of the wool was really itchy and i could have dyed it with koolaid and it would have looked nicer. gross.
i cannot wait for my goods to show. yay!!
we had lunch with my parents. my mom is in a big fight with my granny still for being nasty and i try to be sympathetic, but it is really hard. i went to therapy for the same thing. i put out my hand hoping for anything from anyone in my family, especially my mom and got nothing at all. i know how much it hurts. i won’t say anything to hurt her further, but it stops me from trying to do more mother/daughter stuff. i don’t have the energy to invest in someone else other than those who have been there for me without fail.
i am pooped today. still. i haven’t talked to anyone for more than a few minutes. last night i was too tired to even go out to dinner after work, so we ordered in and i spun some yarn, read, knitted. i hope it doesn’t hurt anyone’s feelings, but i don’t want to talk to people and be a shit.
i think i am going to start selling my spun yarn. the dropspindle stuff looks pretty and i know i would buy it. if anyone can think of a cute name for the brand of knitted stuff and spun yarn, let me know. i am stumped. the person with the winning name will get 50 yds of handspun from meee!!

so, i don’t think i let you know that the creepy dude didn’t show. i had a nightmare about him. i sat outside in the car, camera in hand. no dice.

otherwise, my friends were in town for the reunion and i called them to say i felt to shitty to see anyone. i suck. i feel better now, after my meds kicked in. they were like, “awww..not even for an hour?” i really suck.

HPIM0716
Originally uploaded by ambrose1.

the awesome ambrose sent me a photo of the shoulderette i made her and forgot to photo. sweet girl. i think she is in town, as is my friend nicole for our 10 year college reunion, which i am not going to even though it is really nearby. i didn’t know about it and then when i did, i talk to everyone that i am friends with. i dunno why i get so stressed about things like that, but i do.

you can answer questions to see if he can figure out what tv charactar you are: guess the dictator or television charactar.

oh yaaaaahn!
Originally uploaded by natashafialkov.

first…here is my questionairre for my secret pally:

1. Are you a yarn snob (do you prefer higher quality and/or natural fibers)? Do you avoid Red Heart and Lion Brand? Or is it all the same to you?
i don’t avoid anything unless it squeaks. i sometimes will use those yarns for fringe. i prefer gorgeous natural fibers, of course. the longer i knit, the less i use things like that, although for kids things, i will use cotton-ease, or for novelty knits, i may use those things. not for clothes or hats though.

2. Do you spin? Crochet?
no crocheting, but i do spin. i just learned in the last few weeks and i love it. my hope is that i can spin most of what i knit with. and when it comes to rovings, soft, soft, soft!!

3. Do you have any allergies? (smoke, pets, fibers, perfume, etc.)
some strong perfumes. i hate smoke, also.

4. How long have you been knitting?
about 6 months.

5. Do you have an Amazon or other online wish list?
yes, and also i have some things on ebay, the flying ewe is an awesome store, their spinning things and soft rovings rock and are cheaper than yarn, also winderwood farm. they have lots of buy it now stuff.

6. What’s your favorite scent? (for candles, bath products etc.)
i like ginger a lot, and tropical fruity scents. and foody scents.

7. Do you have a sweet tooth?
who doesn’t? but i only eat sugar free candy.

8. What other crafts or Do-It-Yourself things do you like to do?
i have been working on some fine art framed knitted things. i am just learning to do beading.

9. What kind of music do you like? Can your computer/stereo play MP3s? (if your buddy wants to make you a CD)i think so, yes. i am hard to please, musically. i don’t know if i should get into it.

10. What’s your favorite color? Or–do you have a color family/season/palette you prefer? Any colors you just can’t stand?i am pretty open to color, especially in yarn. i cannot wear yellow and pastels don’t look too great on me. jewel tones are probably the best.

11. What is your family situation? Do you have any pets?
we have 3 kitties and one super husband. and a fishie.

12. What are your life dreams? (really stretching it here, I know)
i love what i am doing. i run a tattoo shop. i am trying to make the shift into permanent cosmetics, so i can go by appointment. i have been selling some of my knitted things to boutiques and even clients that come into my shop. what more can i ask for? i am hoping to be able to make and sell some fine art fiber art works.

13. What is/are your favorite yarn/s to knit with?
i don’t like stiff or itchy yarns, although sometimes if it is gorgeous, you don’t notice. i love handpainted things the best.

14. What fibers do you absolutely *not* like?
not a big cotton fan or anything squeaky or very itchy, although if it is beautiful, that trumps everything.

15. What is/are your current knitting obsession/s?
i am more about handpainted/dyed yarns, i love making my own.

16. What is/are your favorite item/s to knit?
i make a lot of shoulderettes, which is like a wrap/poncho/neck warmer thing. i have been selling them, as well as scarves, so that is all i really get to knit.

17. What are you knitting right now?
ponchos for clients.

18. What do you think about ponchos?
they are cute on some people. shorter ones are probably better.

19. Do you prefer straight or circular needles?
i use circs a lot, but use both.

20. Bamboo, aluminum, plastic?
either bamboo or bryspun.

21. Are you a sock knitter?
nope. maybe someday.

22. How did you learn to knit?
i was shown how to cast on and the knit stitch and then started going nuts. i knit combination style.

23. How old is your oldest UFO?
months and months. if i don’t finish something and leave it, i probably never will finish it.

24. What is your favorite animated character or a favorite animal/bird?
kitties and sheep. i am sick of hello kitty though. i like shaun the sheep from wallace and gromit, and some of the less known japanese animal charactars.

25. What is your favorite holiday?
my birthday or my anniversary …or valentine’s day

26. Is there anything that you collect?
old boxes, yarn, knitting and spinning memorabilia, especially old stuff. kitty stuff. actually, i have tons of art stuff, beads, you name it.

27. What knitting magazine subscriptions do you have?
none yet. i just sent for spin off. i like vogue knitting, ik, rebecca

28. Any books out there you are dying to get your hands on?
some of the japanese knitting books just look incredible.

anyway, i had dreams that the creepy dude showed up. i don’t think he will, though. we’ll see. and if he does, i will take photos from the car. so come back later…

for reasons unbeknownst to me, i have been feeling very melancholy lately. something in the air, maybe. i am watching the L-word, one of my favorite shows, and there are two sisters dealing with the death of their who was his princess, but he did not accept her as she was, but idealized her and ignored what he did not like. the other was the loser and grew up as if in a different family. he didn’t know what she did, didn’t care, decided he knew what she was all about without knowing her at all. my parents don’t need to be dying for me to realize that i have missed out. i am not sure what would need to happen for them, or my brother to feel like the wish they knew me. my dad and i were very close when i was little. my mom and i were never close. they don’t like who i am , i guess. i won’t delve further into it, but to say that it makes me sad.
i know that when i feel sick, it makes me sad, but i get distressed when i cannot be productive. i don’t have the energy to do anything. it makes me realize how fast slip away and that i can’t worry about everything, especially things that only hurt me and make me so sad.
i am so far out of touch with my emotions i swim in them, they do not penetrate my skin. but they are all around, floating on the surface like oil. how do i feel? i don’t know.
when i make things…i am not feeling, not thinking…just being. i don’t even feel like i am me. or anyone. again…floating. the things i make are more real than i am. i have a separation of emotion, or something…not pride, but belief, rather. i believe in my work, more than anything in this world. it is the only thing that is real. it is in its own dimension. it cannot be destroyed. it is not wrong. or right. it just is. and when i am making it, spinning, drawing, painting, constructing…it just is…it becomes something solid and fluid, imperfect and flawless…and i am perfect, too, at that moment in time.
time stops. there is no past or future. there are no problems that i cannot fix. there is nothing to be lost. i have all that i need. i am pure.
it helps me to cope. it makes everything else manageable.
my husband has offered my the support to enable this to come back to me. i was dry for more than 5 years. i had no purpose. i wondered, what was i here for? where did it go? after a while, i realized that he loves me so much…i can let go…i don’t have to wait for the other shoe to drop. i am not alone. i have my work. i have myself. i have jake.