luxe

kahlo is doing pretty well. i successfully got an antibiotic in her mouth and down the gullet. so that is something. she isn’t eating a whole lot, but what can you do?

i spun until late last night, until my foot went numb. i spun a lot today, as well. i have other art projects to work on and packages to pack up, so i will do that tonight, methinks. what have i been working on? well…

so. i made the mistake of watching oprah the other day. as i have gotten older, i find that i cannot handle depressing stuff anymore. i just can’t. even political issues that 5 years ago i would have been informed about, i don’t want to know. and i am ashamed to say that, but it eats me alive. it is the same reason that i moved away from veganism…i cannot do it half-assed, it makes me feel like a hypocrite. if i think about it, i think about it all the time and it isn’t a good thing. that said…on oprah there was a segment about a 20-something girl that killed herself. what was odd about it? well, prior to her suicide, she had been on a website and message board that is pro-suicide. which basically tells you all of the different ways to do it, etc. she had a countdown to the day and seemed to have done it very calmly.

now don’t get me wrong, if you really really don’t want to live, you absolutely have the right to do what you want, but when i looked up some of these sites…man! insane. it lists all of the methods, specific poisons, household things, ways to do it that will look like an accident and it also isn’t geared toward people who are sick, but just rather ending this mortal coil, for whatever reason. it is not dramatic, informative, like…baking a pie. it freaked me out. it also said that if you know someone that wants to kill themselves, you can tell them about the site and don’t try to be pushy and tell them to get help or things might get better. so it really is pro-suicide, as opposed to the hemlock society which believes in euthenasia for people who are very sick and in pain. crazy stuff. why the hell did i read it? no clue. i imagine i will have nightmares. and if any of you want to kill yourselves…i will not give you the website and will tell you to email me so i can send you something nice in the mail to dissuade you. and come over and hang out with you. and give you false information, like killing yourself with hugs and puppy kisses.

not along the lines of death…here are my finished sox…
if that didn’t do you in…literally…i also got the new issue of selvedge, which is amazing, as usual.

i had a pile of stuff to blog and have forgotten all of it. and imagine the hits i will get with the depressing stuff i wrote. woot. woot.

don’t be sad, for there are kitties, and yarn and coffee and key lime pie and…whatever else you like….

xoxoxoxoxoxo,
n.

i had crazy nightmares last night and didn’t sleep well, to put it mildly. i actually was so stressed yesterday that i forgot to eat. i ate a bit. i didn’t starve. anyway, i had to take the cat’s water and food up and the cats kept coming to tell me all night, although i know they aren’t starving, but it sucks. kahlo hopped in the tub and licked the walls. which she never does. she slept on my pillow last night and i was knitting a sock to help chill out, so she sat and attempted to eat my working yarn, as she likes to do, and i let her. not eat it, but gum on it. don’t worry, the socks are for me. i wouldn’t give someone else socks that smell like cat breath. she snores as loud as a person, which is so adorable…it goes like this…”shhhhhnooooooore! shhhhhhnore! shhhanoooore!” and somehow it doesn’t keep me awake. even when it was an inch away from my ear. plus the purring. she sounds like a pigeon and purrs all the time. you know when she doesn’t that she feels like garbage. poor girl.

so i woke up at the asscrack of dawn, thinking that i had to get her there by 8:30 at the latest, and had to wrangle her into her carrier, and she put up a good fight and then howled…oh wo wo wo woooe! oh wo wo wo wooooe! so intense that peeps started doing it too, exactly the same sound. it was great. i drove her to the vet which is about 2 minutes away and sang to her all the way, which calmed her a bit, although she still howled and shivered, which is the worst, the tremors, and realized that actually she didn’t need to be there until 10 and they don’t even open until 9. so i sat in the parking lot with her and sang to her “kahlo k, kahlo k, kahlo is my favorite girl…repeat at nauseum” which calm her a little bit, but still the tremors. there was a shelter cat coming in to get his leg amputated, poor guy, before her, i dunno what the story was, but they make the animules wait in the cage a few hours to calm them down, so then i felt worse that she had to wait an extra hour and a half, rather than being home. i told the nurse my concerns, she seems to be a bit warm, she hasn’t kept any food down yesterday, etc, and she said “it’s ok mum”. that is about it, huh?

i called at 2:20 to see how it went and she hadn’t gone in yet, i had hoped she was done. anyway, i will call back at 3:30 and she should be done.

i came home at 9a and had a horrible headache, spun a big fat bulky louet bobbin of yarn and then laid down for a minute…no 3 hours and had to struggle to wake up and get coffee and eat. so. i have work to do, needless to say.

otherwise, i need to go do stuff and return emails. i will likely post as soon as i hear how surgery went.

ok, off to skein yarn. my least favorite. oh yeah, my life is so hard. whine whine whine.

thanks so much for all of your concern and comments. it means so much to me and all of the good energy cannot be a bad thing for kahlo.

smoooooooooooooooch. hug. hug. smoooch.
xo,
n.

*edit

so…it is now 6p and we picked up kahlo who is FINE! i told them i thought she had a bit of a fever and she did…instead of 102.5 (WDVE) it was 103.1…i am good, aren’t i? she had no more teeth extracted, although her teeth were really gross, they were cleanable and are now really really white! i guess never drinking coffee has it’s upsides. or so i hear. she is surprisingly well adjusted and not mad at me, although hungry and not allowed to eat until to-morrow, poor girl, and she is hungry, but seemingly, really good. so all of your wishes (sort of like the clapping in peter pan…) really helped! she says thanks! and i am going to take photos of her teeth, i swear it.

xo,
n.

she is eating when i put out a can of food, although some of the kinds that have little chunks make her blow chunks. so. she has her dental appointment to-morrow. so i am getting anxious about that already.

the sweetest cat in the world(kahlo is a close second), our black cat egon, had to get his teeth cleaned and while he was under they told us that he stopped breathing, so after doing all sorts of terrible tests, they realized that he had a big growth on his lung and it was causing his lungs and pericardium to fill with fluid, so we had it drained and had to give him stuff to get rid of the fluid, which made him dehydrated and he was in pain and he wouldn’t eat and i wish i had realized that it wouldn’t help, because it was so horrible for him.

i didn’t want to let him go, despite the fact that they told me that he wouldn’t get better and i took him home and gave him subcutaneous fluids (yes, myself, with an iv bag, etc that they gave me. that desperate…) and he was on valium for the pain and it was the most horrible thing i have ever experienced. the life had just gone out of him and when he looked at me, i knew i was just being selfish and making him suffer. he was actually a lot like pavel, really happy and energetic and friendly with everyone. like a dog. fetched, came when you called him, loved to be cuddled (not like pavel). and he couldn’t do anything. i slept on the bathroom floor with him and cried all night. it was years ago and i am tearing up. by morning, i knew that we needed to let him go. jake wouldn’t tell me what to do. he is amazing that way. when we put him to sleep, it was amazing to see him just go to sleep. to not be in pain anymore, even though i miss him everyday, more than any person i have ever known. sniff. i have his ashes in my studio, although i feel like i should let him go. he loved to be with us, though, and my studio is my favorite place. it is where all of the cats want to be. so that is where he is.

so, in case i haven’t depressed you all enough and ruined your sunday, that is why i am so scared to have kahlo put under for her dental work, which obviously she needs to have done. so. ok, off to spin, although my left hand is really hurting me.

smoochles,
n.

that was a pic of kahlo in one of her favorite hang -outs.

she ate almost all of the food i gave her today. it was only half of a 3 oz tin, but she has been hanging around upstairs most of the day and is laying on my legs right now rather than staying by herself on the perch downstairs. i am assuming that she hasn’t eaten well for a while, so maybe just the food is helping her to feel a bit better. so.

my parents are in town for the weekend and we had dinner with my mom. my dad has a bad cold and came to do work anyway, so he was looking worse for wear. big time. he had that look like he might fall asleep any second. he wouldn’t even eat anything, even strawberry pie. poor fella. he was telling me about doing netmaking as a boy in school and tried to explain to me how it was done. i was totally baffled, although after looking on the internet for netmaking, found this…netmaking site. they use a shuttle, like in weaving. i thought it seemed like crochet and couldn’t figure out why they used a shuttle until i realized that it keeps your rope under control.

we had a nice time and sat and talked for a long time until my mum looked sleepy and we took her back to the hotel.

i spun a good bit today to get some orders filled so i can get paid, if you know what i mean. so.

again, thanks so much for all the good vibes. kahlo loves all the attention! she says her nice big round hairless pink belly will be back soon. teeth or no. they vet says her front teeth and fangs will be fine. my mom suggested false teeth.

smoooooochies,
n.

kahlo again
Originally uploaded by natashafialkov.

so, this is kahlo modeling with a scarf i made when i first learned to knit…a beauty. i got up a few times during the night and got her to eat a bit, maybe a teaspoon or two at a time. she slept with me a bit last night, and i could tell she was just doing it to appease me. which is fine.

the yarn store from savannah that is so wonderful contacted me today because i hadn’t emailed them since we got back, because i am scatterbrained. i was so excited that she is so eager. we have a really similar color and style sensibility, there was nothing in that store that isn’t gorgeous. so it will be great to work with her. i have been very lucky to work with so many people that give me carte blanche…as opposed to diner’s club, which you can’t use ANYWHERE, except denny’s maybe.

i had a crazy dream that jake and i went out with a crowd of people to a sportsbar or something…my watch had changed from regular time to military time, and i was late in meeting him because i had gone to the healthfood store to ask the owner about herbal remedies for a friend of mine and couldn’t tell the time on my watch. anyway, jake left without me because he thought i was cheating on him with this utter goon that i knew from the shop, which i wouldn’t do if he was the last man on earth, but also jake would never leave me…it was really odd. so i was stuck with all these yinzers(for non-pittsburghers, that is the term for local yokels with steeler gear on…leather jackets, hats, tshirts, sweatshirts, drinking cheap beer, maybe a chew) with no way home. it was a great dream. and then i woke up late. so. whatever that is all about.

i spun a lot yesterday and it was strangely melancholy yarn. i am not even sure what that means myself, but if it was a painting or a poem, it would make you cry. trust me. it doesn’t take much for me to cry these days. at all.

i have a reality tv addiction, you all know that…i watched hogan knows best last night in the wee hours and they took in a baby chimp! they couldn’t keep him because it is like having an infant that can run, but he was so fricking cute. so. cute. he carried a blankie around with him all the time and i want one. i mean, all of those posters i got in grade school from the book club had kittens and chimps together on those folding posters and they seemed to get along. the cats will like him fine, right? a monkey?

my parents will be in town for a day so i guess we will eat dinner with them.

nothing more to say. just feeling mopey and emotional and jittery.

off to spin a bit.
xoxo,
n.

poor kahlo is not wanting to eat lately. i have to follow her around and attempt to pressure her into eating without freaking her out. she has eaten around 2 oz of food. she slept all day and won’t hang out with me, despite the fact that she normally does. last night she didn’t sleep with me, so when i woke up and she wasn’t cuddled up next to me on the right side or on my pillow, my heart sank. poor girl. thanks so much for all your concern…it means a lot, and kahlo says thanks.

wanna see my strawberry sugar dish…my third one?
and an orange one, too. loving the coccoons…

in other news, i had to wait again for the airconditioning guy to finish fixing the a/c and cancelled a hair appointment because they were supposed to be there between 1 and 3, and actually came at nearly 3:30, so i could have gone. ah well. i sat in the bedroom, the only room with an a/c unit and spun all day, so i got a decent bit done.
here are some yarns i did recently…

on the way to vacation, we pass this creepy little fabricated town called lake norman. it is right on a lake that looks manmade, so there are all these brand new buildings lakeside, condos, houses, docks with fancy boats and jet skis, etc. one year, we stopped there, because from the road, it looked quaint. when we actually got parked and out of the car, it was a ghost town. no people, all the store fronts looked fake or were empty…like the twilight zone. don’t believe me? well…check this out. oh, and it talks, so adjust your computer sound accordingly. even the video gives you the WB’s new show “lake norman” which is a cross between the OC and invasion of the body snatchers. i would like to pitch the idea, you know? i just want to say, that it was my idea first.

i am eaten up with stress about poor kahlo. i cannot imagine having children. they would hate me. i would hover.

i watched the last episode of battlestar gallactica and it didn’t tivo the whole thing…and i am not sure if it was an hour more or 5 minutes more. it nearly killed me. and then on the scifi website, it said that you could click here to see the end and a season 3 teaser and then the thing wouldn’t work. dammit!

off i go.
xo,
n.