craaaaaaaaaaaampppppssssssssssssss.
bad ones. i hate them. i did little today, although jake and i did go to the farmer’s market and got baby golden potatoes, corn(it has white and yellow kernels!), his favorite hummus and pita chips, his favorite pumpkin choco chunk cookies which are amazing (the combo of the spices and chocolate is wonderful. i need to figure out her recipe), amazing nectarines(the first of summer that actually SMELL like a nectarine) and a cantaloupe from amish stand (jake said that the smiley amish dude freaks him out. he does seem like he might be from a horror movie or something. and his poor daughter all bundled up head to toe with a bonnet and petticoat and apron and dress. man! and it is like 90 degrees out). i cut up the cantaloupe and it was so juicy and ripe, unlike the shite from the grocery store. yum!
after that, i made a quick run to my favorite local art supply to get embossing powder for the paper beads. i found a method using a glue stick rather than coating it on glue, which seems much less messy, like something i could do on the porch rather than in a bubble. and the embossing powders…they have so many! i was stunned. i just got clear, because i can use stains and paint on the paper before rolling, but i am going to see if they have an amber one. i am also thinking that i could make some really great big buttons. so. i hope to do some to-morrow. cramps permitting. i was on the verge of tears with these hideous cramps. normally i can deal, but they were so so so bad. man!
i am almost done with the circular shrug. i have a few inches more ribbing to do. it weighs a ton because of the handspun. but it is really pretty. the colors are not ones i would normally wear, so i don’t know what i was thinking, although they are gorgeous.
a while ago, i read on another blog that they didn’t feel the need to blab every detail of their life. oddly, that blog is so vague that you get no sense of who is writing it. none. and it makes you not care, because you feel like they are just busy trying to show what they think is interesting or cool, for lack of a better word. that said, i do blab every detail, every mundane thought, dream, idea, etc, etc. where am i going with this? well…does it make my blog more enjoyable or more boring? i read an entry of mine from months and months ago and i thought how boring it was. so maybe i should filter things out. i am not a filtered kind of person. if you are my friend, i will tell you anything. i have never been much of a liar, even when i want to be, because i have the biggest mouth in the world. i can’t do surprises. or buy gifts ahead of time. i can’t keep secrets. i like to share the things that i like. or hate, or whatever. that is who i am. and if i don’t tell you, it means i don’t know you, or trust you. and i feel that when people are secretive with me, that they feel that way about me. it bothers me to no end. i think it is so important to try to be at peace with who you are. it is okay to be a dork. i am. i get excited about things that other people might not care about. whatever. one of the saddest, most pathetic things in the world is to spend your life trying to be aloof and better than other people, so they will never find out who you really are and what you really think of yourself. and as long as you keep that up and maintain a negative attitude, you will never have real friends. you will never be happy. how can you be? you don’t even like yourself.
do i always like myself? no. but i am open about it. maybe too open, but i accept who i am (most of the time, anyway) and surround myself with people that appreciate me for who i am and what i am…as well as what i am not. and i can’t ask for anything better than that.
stepping down from my soapbox, i am going to attempt to get some knitting done and pray for my uterus to just calm the hell down. what did i ever do to my uterus to piss it off? if it doesn’t behave, i will go down to the animal hospital and get spayed. so calm down, uterus. behave!
smooch! ow!
n.
joe said,
August 23, 2006 @ 10:11 am
thank you for standing on that soap box. sometimes i feel like that sad/pathetic thing your talking about. i think i do hate myself sometimes but unlike you i hide it.reading your blog is sometimes like going to therapy
natasha said,
August 23, 2006 @ 8:01 pm
joe, thanks! i think. i imagine that everyone hates themselves sometimes. the trick is to like yourself, regardless. the way that you would always stick up for your family or close friends, you should stick up for yourself. no matter what. in the end, you are all that you’ve got. you’ve gotta take care of yourself.
velmalikevelvet said,
August 24, 2006 @ 8:59 pm
ok, a) my sympathies re: cramps. i can’t believe how lucky i am that i don’t get cramps. that said, i had to have yet another colposcopy yesterday (where they take a wee bite or two out of your cervix; wtf!); NOT my favorite morning activity! and b) i totally get the whole TMI thing (see “a”); however, c) i can totally keep secrets, i just need to be told that something needs to go ‘in the vault’- otherwise, i figure it’s news, and it’s my job to broadcast; and d) like yourself, dammit! i know, it’s hard sometimes, and i don’t claim to be an expert; i’m going through a blog-thingy where i’m trying to find my voice again (look for a post on that very subject soon). xo v
natasha said,
August 24, 2006 @ 10:35 pm
velma! who took a bite out of your cervix? so not cool! i hope the test comes back clean and sober. or drunk. i can keep a secret…ok, well, if i am told not to tell anyone, although even still i would most likely have to tell jake. i could deal with not telling anyone else. maybe the cats. they are the ones that really have the big mouths.
yeah, i dunno where my voice went. i feel so odd sometimes when i go to post. although, i haven’t been verbal in general, so maybe that is it.
yarnpunk said,
August 29, 2006 @ 11:27 pm
Hey you! Just playing catch up and wanted to comment: I love that you say whatever is on your mind! Wish I could get away with that- Kodiak is waaaaaaay too small to bitch without it coming round to bite you in the ass. I know I’m being scrutinized…
Hope all is well. I feel like such a lame ass for not emailing or keeping in touch- I just get so caught up in all my bullshit, kids, work, etc. Wanted to call, but some jack ass stole my cell phone with your number in it right before I left on my trip to PDX. SUCK!
Anyhow, I’m thinking about you. I plan on sending you some alpaca fiber in the near future once I get settled back at work. It’s total chaos right now with school starting up, unpacking and re-organizing, etc.
Just shipped out a humungo yarn order which has seriously reduced my inventory, so the pressure is on to get spinning, but with my tax extension deadline just around the corner its hard to focus when I’d rather be spinning. ARGH!
Say Hi to Jake and the kitties for me! PS- I haven’t forgotten the request for salmon… do you want smoked, or the stuff that I brought in the sealed pouch, or both???
natasha said,
August 30, 2006 @ 1:54 pm
no worries elizabeth! any kind of salmon is great. jake loves it! i actually have called your work a few times and the other elizabeth was working, but i will call soon and catch up with ya! i miss ya too! and jake thought you were cool, and he is a tough critic.
i have had to watch what i say and about who, as well. i got a but burned talking about my family and getting turned in by my brother i think. so, it can be a small world. just bitch about people but give them different names. like=stacey=gracie…huh?
yarnpunk said,
September 6, 2006 @ 4:02 am
I’m at the shop Tues-Sat this week 12-5. The other Elizabeth is heading out of town- normally I stay home on Sat with the kiddos but will be working all this week. Look forward to hearing from you. I’ll start putting together some salmon to send you guys. Belated happy anniversary you lucky beotch! HUGS!
natasha said,
September 6, 2006 @ 1:17 pm
i’ll call ya…and whaddya mean by lucky beotch? you have a nice hubby! a burly irish fisherman! that is from a romance movie…
yarnpunk said,
September 22, 2006 @ 1:11 am
Whaddya mean???? You’ve got the full on package girlfriend! He’s considerate, thoughtful, eager to lend a hand, tidy/organized, sweet and super cute- and he’s not even gay!!!!
The burly Irish fisherman does have his good points, but I guess you could say we live at opposite ends of the pole most of the time. Don’t foeget the hot headed Irish temper…not a pretty sight. Call me! I miss ya!!