luxe

ok. first things first. our camera that kept breaking…they finally gave us a refund. so we got this rockstar camera. i haven’t gotten a chance to mess around with it, but i am so excited. we had a fuji fine pix that was an expensive piece of poo. took shitey photos, and i think that most people just take bad snapshots anyway, so it doesn’t really matter.

what else? my wire came yesterday. i was so excited! and after using the stuff i had, i was shocked how incredibly soft this wire is. so so soft. i made a bracelet and a necklace last night but didn’t take photos of it yet, but it was a pleasure to work with. pleasure.

my mom has been with us since yesterday, it has been nice to visit, although i have gotten no work done to speak of. i will try to get caught up soon.

i will leave you with some photos of new yarns (most of which were already laid dibs on by my bestest client in the world, sherri)…

xo,
n.

we just got back from pittsburgh to show the lovely owner of sugar boutique fall samples. something in the huge bags of knitted and crocheted things caused her allergies to kick up..quickly…and she was itchy and sniffly in no time. i felt like a jerk. AND she is preggers, so she can’t go home and take a benadryl even. suck. i felt bad. and she said she is allergic to mohair, so i couldn’t figure out what would have had mohair in it, although there was some noro stuff in there, and then two yarns knitted from some fiber i got at MSW which has mohair and llama and all sorts of nasties. god, i feel bad. i think that making a pregnant lady itchy and sneezy is one of the deadly sins. i may burn in hell. good thing i am jewish. no hell. ha! still. i feel bad. she liked lots of stuff, but the outcome is do what a want and she loves handspun and not really any other kind of yarn. so. not too shabby.

after sugar jake and i went to the church brew works for a delish dinner. i was never so excited by the restaurant, who my great friend john from pdx first took me to, but jake digs it. so. we went. plus it is right down the road from sugar.

i spent the day prepping stuff for sugar, cleaning the house in preparation for my mom’s arrival to-morrow and…that is it i think. i didn’t get a chance to take photos like i promised, but i will to-morrow. hell or high water. i swear it. hand to g-d. swear. and i have to pack orders and send em. and my mom is coming, so i hope she doesn’t mind me doing work, although she may want to go shop, anyway. so no biggie.

i meant to mention this a while ago..ok, so i blogged about an episode of dr. phil that i had the misfortune to see:

“happened to see dr.phil which has info about all the girls that were probably abducted from cruise ships or on vacation and put into the sex trade. awful. even if they ever get back…how damaged do you think they would be? it is unthinkable, not only to be a woman in that situation, going from being a middle class pretty white girl in college on a cruise with your family, or on spring break, to being forced into prostitution. and i imagine that it isn’t like being a prostitute in america, as glamorous as that is…third world prostitution….woah. ” this was in november. so, a couple of days ago, i get this comment:

“.Wow, are you ever ignorant, do you really think that prostitution is lower than working in a sweatshop? maybe you should check out these sites http://www.empowerfoundation.org/

http://www.durbar.org/

Maybe if you heard it from sex workers in 3rd world countries themselves you would have more knowledge.”

so, of course, i had to see what the person’s blog was and it is a pro-prostitution blog. not that i have anything against it, i guess. if it is what someone really wants and it makes them happy and they aren’t being mistreated and made to feel like shite. although i guess working at a horrible job might make you feel like shite as well. anyway, she left this mean comment like i was ripping on prostitutes as opposed to saying how insane it would be to get abducted and forced into slavery. whatever wendy. whatever. how odd. how very odd.

and one of the three canvases from some collaged paintings i did in april…

xo,
n.

well! long time no blog. i had one of those rockstar days today. what do i mean by that? well, one that i can’t wake up and can’t get out of bed and have the heeby jeebies, like i was partying all night. let’s say i was, just to make things sound more exciting. i don’t want to let anyone down. i fear that i overdid it yesterday and then i couldn’t sleep. i had so much to do today and did literally nothing. the only project that i have started to knit is the shrug, which is big and heavy and HOT. so i can’t stand working with it on my lap and wrists for very long. so, i did nothing but fall asleep every so often, all day long. every hour or so. fun! woot woot!

yesterday i spun a lot and finished (i think there is enough yardage anyway) for a trade with ashley. plied a bunch of stuff, etc, etc. i was really hoping that my wire would show up today, to no avail. sigh. i feel like a junky. must…crochet…with…wire. i never thought that i would like crochet so much. i had this idea of what it looks like, and while it CAN look like granny squares made with squeaky yarns in eyeball peeling colors, is can also look like regina’s work or any other number of things. unlike knitting, that really does have to be knit or purl, crochet gives you an amazing amount of freedom, like willy wonka’s glass elevator (didya hear that lynn?, you can go in any direction from any direction. for some people, it may be scary to not use a pattern, for me it is scarier to use a pattern and have it come out wrong. no pattern=no wrong way. i like that. so want to see the bracelet i made? i am still just learning, but it is so fun. i have some other ideas i have been journaling. so.

we went over to my in-laws for dinner on saturday that was really yummy. after a little while i started to feel funky, and sweaty and chilled and i drove myself home while everyone got some icecream. i am so lame. jake wanted to come home, whilst i know how badly he wanted icecream. so sweet. we then went to the grocery store at about 1 a.m. it was great! no one was there and the cashiers are the most miserable people ever. and honestly, i would rather work there at night then when all the crowds are there to bitch at me. you know? we had a fun time.

my mom will be in town next week, staying with us for a couple of days, so of course i am getting nervous about it. i am such a dork. and i am behind on all the work i need to do for luxe, etc, so i really need to bust my ass this week, as much as possible anyway. i need to keep vertical, anyway.

when i did sleep last night, i had really crazy nightmares, i have been lately. i dreamed about someone that i stopped talking to a while ago, because i had to, and i miss like crazy…anyway, i dreamed that she got a teaching job in alaska and moved away and when i saw her, before she left, she told me that she didn’t think that i have a crap about her, or thought about her. i saw a quote somewhere that if you can’t go a day without thinking about someone, then you need to have them in your life. i can’t bear to see her being taken advantage of, or putting herself in bad situations all time, but more and more, i feel like other than her aunt, everyone around her just takes advantage of her, from what i know. and i think that my stubbornness is not the right thing here. in my family…we will cut off our noses to spite our faces…yes we will. i haven’t had a nose in quite some time, thank you very much.

ok, well, i am just a miserable sod, but i am going to show you some cool antique buys to end on a happier note.

cute, eh? how cute are they? and! also got this amazing plate from the 1970′s..the photo is shitey, but it is hard to photo shiny things, you know?

i put some new stuff up in my luxe etsy store and hope to take photos and update luxe to-morrow, as well. i will let you know. there are some freeform scarves, among other things.

xo
n.

so! i got this book from amazon today. it is gorgeous. i really want to do some crocheted wire jewelry…not the usual crocheted necky things, etc, but really gorgeous things that are from another time and another world. really inspiring. you can check out some of her things here, if you like. right there is a lady who has tough fingers. let me tell you. i was pissing around with some single crochet in thin wire and a small hook and my hands are killing me. i just bitched to regina about it. i am typing anyway. although, i put some aspercream on first. seriously. all the way up to my elbows down to my fingertips hurts like hell. and blisters and my nails are all chewed up on my left hand from doing it, too. maybe i need thinner wire. hm. or to toughen up. anyway, very exciting stuff!

i got orders packed and sent and went to the post office, fought with the machine, saw a few other local business peeps that i used to see everyday, so i was there for a while, then went to the antique place and got a few things, which i will show you to-morrow or friday…really good stuff. cheap! my favorite! 2 of the things have deer on them! woot! deer!

then, i left the antique place and was looping around to go to the vet and get pavel ear mite medicine…i pass a building that i love and there are piles of cool stuff on the curb, like it is being thrown away. i back up my car down the one way street i was on and went down the alley. i start nosing around in the garage that the stuff is outside of to see if someone is around. i don’t see anyone. there is a spectacular rustic red table…like 5 feet long and skinny that i am digging…and then the antique guy that i know, Mick(sp?) pulls up in his van and gets out and says, “hey natasha! looking for me?” no clue it was his storage place. he then showed me all sorts of stuff, and my car was running. jake calls to tell me that dinner is ready and i have just left. crazy. 20 minutes of errands took about 2 hours. sigh. nothing new.

i wound up 6 skeins of yarn for orders. big skeins. and i did a few of them crazy fast. oh! speaking of winding, my other skeinwinder came today from www.oreganwoodworker.com. he makes great swifts/skeinwinders that work really well and come apart to be put away. if you buy anything there, please let him know i sent you. i have the mamabear. the papabear is so giant that it doesn’t fit anywhere for me to use it. really really big.

here is another of the freeformish scarves from my handspun which is merino with sari silk spun in and sparkles…i have been doing either just a crocheted chain or a single crochet and doing multiple strands in different lengths that make up one scarf. they look really pretty on. hopefully the boutique (to-morrow evening jake is going down with me) will agree. i actually really enjoy knitting for orders. i am much stingier with myself. i don’t want to “waste” gorgeous yarn. i have no idea why i am like that. when i was a kid i spent every penny i had on stickers and i NEVER stuck any of them down for fear of making a mistake. like a freak. when i use a kleenex, i need to really use it or i feel wasteful just blowing my nose and tossing it. i am a hoarder. i am not sure if i would be any different if we were rich. i dunno. my granny is just the same way. i like things better when they are cheap. although, if it is something that is expensive for a reason…that is fine. it just needs to seem worth the money to me.

i also got a book about different sheep and their wool, although, i still will probably only use the super soft wools. i am just that kind of gal.

pavel loves the pistachio icecream…

ooh! i almost forgot! whilst i was checking emails i had flava of love II on…and a girl pooped on the floor! during the ceremony thing. i tivod that bit to show jake, who was super duper sickened. it was so gross. literally poop fell out of her skirt/dress/underpants/butt…yikes! how does that happen? and, it is questionable if she might have picked up one(?) of the poops and then dropped it. um…i think i may be forced to kill myself if i not only pooped my pants but did it on tv! and i have a fear of fainting and peeing myself. pee is nothing! nothing! so check out the show if you wanna see poo. well, you don’t SEE the poo, i’m just saying is all.

i am sore, so off i go to shower, loosen up a bit.
smooochies,
n.

i feel like i have a hangover. i don’t. unless pirates abducted me, made me party with them and then returned me home. that may be why i have big gold hoop earrings in my ear and a peg leg. and a hook for a hand. shit! a hook? how am a going to be an artist now? it could be my gimmick. and! the yarn wench will be sure to like me best! i will be her “pirate friend, natasha” maybe i should get a better pirate name. any idears? and i should talk like one more…aaaargh! captain natasha kitty. no? hm. i woke up early, and was exhausted and had the headache. migraine. so one side of my head feels like it will squirt my eye out. ew! and my tongue felt like i was licking sandpaper. so maybe i did that on a dare or something.

i had strange desertion nightmares last night (again) about being with jake at the airport and he said he was stopping somewhere and when i tried to follow him, he was gone. i was sick (i am guessing the real life bleeding into the dream) and i was too tired to keep looking. so i sat down. and then freaky people were hitting on me. another part of the dream had me stealing a tiny puppy from the neighbor’s yard that was sick from the heat and they didn’t care and they were after me. and, my mom is supposed to stay with us for a couple of days when she is in town next and in my dream she didn’t come and i was hysterical about it being blown off. which i don’t think i would be, but i was. hm. puzzling.

the movie suggestions look good, i haven’t seen most of them, especially because i have developed an aversion to watching movies in the theatre, after seeing a couple movies a week in the past, i think because of the scene in the movie “outbreak” where everyone is coughing. also, i start getting panicky and fidgety and i need to pee and i get bored, or at action movies, i tend to fall asleep. kill bill…felll asleep after maybe 30 minutes and woke up right at the very end, completely confused, yet not really caring. so, jake goes with friends. i feel like a bit of a jerk, but i am funny about lots of things. that is one of them.

also, the older i get, the more afraid to go to shows i am, because i don’t want to get sick at the last minute and waste a ticket (they aren’t $5 anymore) or worse, ruin it for other people because i have to leave. jake is really understanding about this, although other people seem to get really irritated. we went to a show that i REALLY wanted to see in DC and i got not only a migraine (perfect for a loud loud show) but had a bad kidney infection, so i sat in the back on the benches where no one sits because you can’t see anything, doubled over, sweating and trying not to cry, and not to let anyone see me and feel like they had to leave. and then the hour ride home on the train and then trying to sleep in someone else’s place and not to wake them up when i keep getting up all night long. and then, puking all the 4 hours home. yay! and when you take pills and puke em up…yummy! so i start getting scared to go away, and i was never like that before. almost every trip we take something happens. and the harder i push myself to deal with it and try to be okay, the sicker i get. if i take it easy, i am just tired and maybe a bit sick.

growing up, my parents didn’t know that i really was sick, they thought i was a faker, i think, and when they found out that it is for real, they felt guilty. i think that a lot of people i have dealt with on a personal level feel like it is my way of getting out of things, or maybe it is just annoying. i cut people like that off. my ex treated me like that, and if they think that it is annoying to them…it is much worse to live it. they can go without me. i get to stay home and be sick. weeeeeeeeeeeee! if i didn’t have knitting and the other things that i do, i would wither and die. when people who have everything going their way and choose not to see it…they can do anything they want and still complain all the time, i can’t handle it.

i wanted to go to grad school. i always thought i would. when i started trying to get my classes, etc, together to do it, i realized that my health would not permit it. not only can we not afford it, i could not physically do it. the studio time for one class is usually more than 20 hours a week…not to mention that i would not be able to get my degree nearby…not even in pittsburgh, likely. cmu is the only one that would be a possibility, and even if i got in, i could never afford it. i would love it. i loved being in college. well, at seton hill, anyway. but it isn’t something i can do. and i couldn’t teach, because my health is unreliable.

i make a point not to be negative, not to talk about things that aren’t accessible to me. i try to think about the things that i CAN do. and do them. not be afraid to do anything. not be afraid to fail. i try to accept the things that i can’t do, and attempt to grow as an artist and as a person in every way that i possibly can.

negativity was my whole life. it is a black hole. it eats you up. and when you have chronic pain and chronic fatigue, it is way to easy to fall right into it. to just stop trying. i can’t do that. i won’t. i will cling to the things that make me happy, make me good. i will have a direction in life, and i will follow that. until i physically cannot. and then, i will do whatever i can. i won’t give up, and if someone doesn’t realize what a delicate balance there is in my life and brings their negative crap into my life and blasts me with it all the time…i can’t be around it.

i fear that sounded mean and cold, but i have to take care of myself, or i can’t do anything for anyone. it is so important to appreciate all of the things that you have in your life, and all of the things that you are. if you don’t…life just sucks. and really, you suck by extension.

and on a fuzzier note…here are some of the freeform skinny scarves…this one is uncarded targhee with a novelty trim crocheted in a spiral around it, one of my new favorite techniques…

and here is one of the skeins of the flower yarn crocheted up…the lilacy coloured sections are mostly caterpillar-y chunks, so you can see how those work up. i have 2 more skeins of this, as well.

nuff said.
pics later. i swear it.
xo,
n.

when you burp and you are alone? i do. always do. also, when i trip or do something dumb, i mutter to myself about it. i told jake about the burp thing and he asked me why i did that. well…i always have and i guess that way if i am on hidden camera, no worries, right? that said…

i feel like i am from another planet, lately. i have been busting work out because i need to take samples to pittsburgh of knits either wednesday or thursday. i know that i owe you pictures and…well…i took some and then misplaced the camera in my studio. i think. i have cleaned most all of the rest of the house, so that is where i imagine it must be. i don’t even want to spin it is so frakking messy in there. bad. and i was into the yarn for all the stuff for sugar and so not only is there fiber and handspun all around, but beads and cards and papers and books and all of my big containers of yarn. man. i am not good at keeping things neat. at all.

the weekend was uneventful. i got a lot done and was tired but not sick, okay, well a migraine on friday, but no big thing. i taggeed 30 skeins of yarn for a wholesale order which always takes me forever. packing stuff, too. i am slooooow. and i suck at multitasking. i really wish i could figure out a method to be able to use time better. i can’t switch gears. it has always been much easier for me to just put my head down and work. i think i need a coach. or a boss, maybe. hm. i need to think about that.

my newest aspiration is to do some crazy wire and bead crocheted jewelry. i saw some things that gave me some ideas…but…i don’t know if i can physically make the thing that is in my noggin. so. i will probably try it out to-morrow. i ordered a book over the weekend, but i imagine that it is fairly straightforward and just about what the wire wants to do. if i can make something that looks pretty (ish) i may order some silver wire and decent findings. we shall see.

what else? well! i got the new clothpaperscissors magazine as well as stampington’s home mag at the bookstore. i am always blown away by them. i don’t like much that i see, but in those books there are just fantastic ideas. even when the work doesn’t appeal to me…although often it does, they tell you the techniques, the products that they used, which more often than not are non-traditional art materials or something that someone discovered in the art supply sorts of things. i love mixed media work. i always have. i have a really hard time just doing one thing at a time. although, i have really been trying to slow down and not overload so much. my mind races enough without any help, thank you very much.

ok, back to the magazines, i while ago i was contacted about doing a swap. well, she does work with stained glass but also with soldered glass necklaces, etc. for ages, i have been trying to figure out how to incorporate yarn and knitting and crochet into fine art…i want it to …(*sidenote…i heard one of the cats going nuts on something and got up to see what it was…i took my bra off a few minutes ago because it was squishing me and she had taken it and was doing the wrap all fours around it and kick and bite it thing. and when i asked for it back, she scratched me and ran away. hmph. sorry…back to what i was saying…)ok, so i don’t want knitted things or yarn to be sealed, of course, or not be sealed and get dusty..but i want to be able to see the fact that it is soft, it is yarn…blah blah…so…glass. it can be between two pieces of glass and then soldered in there. and of course, there are so many ways you could use this for little drawings or whatever and then hang em up. no framing needed. this is how bad i am at cutting mattes. and! from making my tattoo needles i know how to solder. really well. i have the hands of a surgeon. i am sure my parents would prefer me to be a surgeon than an artist but…ah well folks. scatterbrained works better in art than it does in medicine. really. what else? well, my local art supply does framing and always let me take whatever boards they have leftover and glass and will cut them for me, mike is so nice, so i can get glass for nothing, or not much. so i just need to get some glass cutting stuff for cutting smaller pieces or when i am at home. they have the gigantor glass cutter for framing there. i have the soldering gear. i had to do that stuff in metalsmithing, too, but i would rather just use the iron than a torch. i don’t trust myself with a tank of flammable gas. so.

also, one of the freeform scarves i did this weekend was with the pansy yarn i spun up a while ago…woah! can i say fun! why do i not use it more often? why? i think that knitting with the big flowers would maybe be a pain in the arse, but when you crochet, you can pop it out of the loop before you are done, so you can choose where it will be as you go, kind of. if that makes sense. especially for beginners, you don’t need to mix yarns or do fancy stitches, you just get a fatty hook or needles and do 2 stitches, or whatever you like and bob’s your uncle. looks super duper. i was crocheting at lunch on saturday and the waitress kept asking about the yarn and could she get some, etc, and when i showed her that i wasn’t doing anything fancy at all, to a newby knitter like her…she almost peed her pants. i sound like a braggart, but i imagine that all of us that make crazy yarns have a super fun yarn to knit with. fun! it makes regular yarn…well…regular. not that it doesn’t have it’s uses. a guess that socks with big flowers popping out all over the place might not be so useful…although if you had a slipper with this on top and regular yarn on the bottom…pretty fancy! woot!

oh, also, my in-laws have a place called “just dogs” in the westmoreland mall, they have freshbaked and gorgeous doggy treats and other things, so if you are a local, go buy some stuff! they have a second store about an hour away that grooms dogs as well and i got a big bag of black collie fur, super soft, and if anyone wants any dog hair for spinning…ok, nonspinners, i am sure it sounds gross, but we spin dirtier things…like sheep, for example…or silk..let me know, i can get you all you want. and this is nice and long, a few inches anyway and really shiny deep black. so. do people like dog hair yarn…the fancy name is chiengora. that sounds better, doesn’t it? and i have been saving up cat hair, too. peeps sheds like nobody’s business. her hair is soooooo long.

jake was really really tired all weekend and actually went to sleep around 8p tonight. although he could have gone to sleep hours before that. poor guy. and to all of the well-wishers…thanks! his shingles are gone! he finished his herpes medicine and he is good. my mom swears that a had 5 chicken pox when my brother’s had it, which i don’t remember, so i guess i am safe. i think i told you that if you haven’t had the pox yet you can get it from someone who has shingles because it is the same virus.

i took the advice of sean and got some borax for the ant problem. we just put it down this afternoon, so i guess we will have to wait and see. there were ants in the cat’s feeder, which makes me mad, so i was picking up their feeder and putting a bowl down until we could get the problem sorted out and managed to accidentally pop the bottom off of the feeder. i scared the shit out of myself…doing the…”ssssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhIT!!!”, which scared pavel and peeps who did the run-away-so-fast-that-their-legs-move-but their body doesn’t like fred flintstone and hiss and take off, which scared me further and i dropped the feeder. it shot food all over the kitchen, the laundry room, in the litter boxes, out the kitchen doorway, on the table, under EVERYTHING. so in an attempt to save some of their expensive organic food from the ants, i dumped a bunch of it out. and i just put borax down for the ants, so i thought it really would be best to throw the food that was on the ground away. sigh. i hope it works. i am going to try it in the laundry for sure!

speaking of laundry, i put clothes outside to dry (did i mention that i never realized how many pairs of underwear i have? jesus. more than 100 i would guess.) and a bird pooped on two shirts. jake said it is the same bird that poops on the cars when he washes them. and on our porch railings. buggers. they have the whole world to poop on.

i bought these folding cat cube things at the store and they connect together by velcro, so there are holes all the way through and they can hang out in there or play or whatever. pavel is hanging out in there with not just his socky jojo, but socky’s much cleaner and less liked twin, socky II. additionally, he has pulled his scarf (which amy knitted me for my birthday a while bag and he appropriated while he was teething…it is about 8 feet long at this point), a catnip mouse and a couple of other stuff toys in there. $12 well spent. he digs sitting in pretty much any kind of box, even if it is an inch deep and 2 inches wide. he will put whatever part of himself that fits in there. when he was a baby, we put him in a little tiny basket that a gift came in wrapped in a tea towel, so maybe that is why he likes boxes. or, he is a cat. he tried to squeeze himself into the flat-rate $7.85 fat envelope priority male box, so his entire back half sticks out. so. nerd. he really is a nerd. if cats can be such a thing. he eats candy, as well. i will stop the cat talk. i am prepping for my later days as a crazy cat lady. oh…on that theme…a friend of ours found a cat who recently had kittens (they are weaned and have homes now) who has now been fixed and has her shots, but had her tail amputated and is missing all of her bottom teeth. she is in good health and is super super sweet and friendly, so if anyone has room for a sweet kitty, probably around 2 years old, gets along with kids, cats and dogs, email me and i will get you hooked up. we would take her, but peeps does bad things when other cats are around. bad things that smell bad. if you know what i mean. and i have a soft spot for wounded animules, even though she is all fixed up. poor girl. they think she was hit by a car or something. she has a black beard, too. how cute is that?

we watched part of “sin city” before the dvd started going crazy and i was super let down. by the movie. sucketh. it could have just been animated. i dunno. it seems like the idea was cooler than the movie was. so we watched about half of it, i think, and neither one of us cared that we didn’t get to see the end. blech! i haven’t done so well with movies lately. we saw kingdom of heaven and that was not so bad. no complaints. if anyone has some movie suggestions for the netflix queue leave em for me. i am all ears.

i am going to shut up now and do some work before lights out. i will put new photos up as soon as i find the camera.

xoxo,
n.

i actually got a lot done today. i did some spinning, some knitting, worked on samples, skeined yarn, tagged yarn, cleaned up a bit, got to talk to my buddy shannon, the www.knitgrrl.com herself. oh, i also did laundry and hung it outside to dry and got it back in about 2 seconds before it started to rain like a mofo. laundry? me? you know what i realized? i have a LOT of underwear. really cute ones, too. i pride myself on getting rid of unders once they are the least bit sketchy. there are few things grosser than sketchy underpants. you know? also, i have been using the “method” laundry stuff and it works really well. good stuff. i even plucked my eyebrows. shaved off my mustache and beard. shaved my chest and trimmed my nosehairs. nah. several of those things i didn’t really do. i won’t say which ones. you figure it out yourselves.

i wanted to work on the painting for jacey today, but time got away from me. so. to-morrow. after i do the post office, etc. also, it is my mom-in-law’s birthday so i need to get her something. that she will like. which is a bit tricky.

i had a strange isolated feeling all day. i missed my friend heather so much that i came really really close to calling her a few times. and then shannon called, so it was just in time. i am not a terribly needy person usually. i dunno what my deal is. and poor jake can only absorb so much female bitching. i have seen on a lot of blogs that people are feeling forlorn and odd. so maybe it is something in the air. the thick, hot air. the hot air that dried my laundry in about an hour. crazy. actually, a blog that i read said that she had been feeling gross when she touched wool lately, and i know that when i do skeining or winding of yarn it makes me want to barf. i am funny about sanding things, even an emery board, and i feel like that, the nails on the chalkboard things. blech!

i cut the neck off of a t-shirt…i am like a body builder…no necks on the tshirts, i hate them…and i cut too much and the shirt has been falling off of me all day. jake thought it was funny. it has a flashdance look to it, although the shirt isn’t even big.

ok. i feel a bit off, so i am going to wash my face and crochet a bit…oh, speaking of which…does anyone have any recommendations for books or otherwise on crocheting or knitting with wire or other things to make jewelry? i have the little book that annie modesitt had with her first book, but the pictures are not great so i don’t even like looking at it. i guess i should just put beads on and start freeform crocheting and see what happens.

off i go to see the wizard. and to watch project runway from last night. velma said it was a letdown. i try to keep the drama in my life limited to tv. that is why i like it so very much. plus, tv doesn’t get mad if you are knitting or spinning and listening to a cd or talking on the phone all at the same time. TV…don’t let anyone tell you that you are bad. how can something that spawned al swearengen or project jay or the wonderful BBC show HEX be bad? how? tell me, dammit! i am going to cuddle with the tv now.

oh, quick, on the subject of cuddling: pavel, who is 2 in around august, is not into cuddling unless he is super sleepy, if he is just moderately sleepy, he gets mean and bitey, but when he is super sleepy, he wants to cuddle with jake, and only jake. for the first time ever, since he was a kitten and couldn’t resist me, anyway, he plunked down between me and jake (jake was sleeping) and put his arm on me and his foot on me and let me smooch him and cuddle him. what do you think of that? i couldn’t believe it. i am totally second best. ok, actually, he has his sock, socky, that he loves like a littermate, so third best…no wait, he would rather be with one of the other cats if they would let him…so 5th best…but hey, he used to bit the underside of my bumcheeks while i was reading. so this is real progress! i think it might have been that i let him lick off of my icecream cone. he likes raspberry sherbet as well as pistachio icecream. he is very versatile. i will post the adorable pic soon.

kitten cuddles and smoochies…god, i am a dorkus.
n.

i spun a bunch of yarn today, including (hopefully) enough to finish the circular shrug, which was 2 of the baby lendrum spools and one regular louet spool full. i didn’t even set the twist, i just wound one into a ball straight off of the bobbin. i know, bad bad me, all overtwisted and crazy single. just like me. overtwisted. better than undertwisted because then i would just fall apart. and i don’t do that. evah! i also spun some of the fiber i dyed last week…it is an amazing soft robin’s egg blue, one of my new favorite colors to be mixed with strange things that shouldn’t match but do, like a soft golden olive green. so soft and nice. so i spun a gigantic bobbin of that and plan to spin more. i am so behind on everything. eeps.

after that, i cleaned the bedroom a bit, which had enough yarn for 20 sweaters beside the bed and books and magazines and pill bottles and everything. shameful. i emptied the canister of the crappy vacuum that we have which had what appeared to be a full-sized cat inside and then jake actually ran it because my asthma goes crazy…the filter doesn’t…work…on the crapovac. it shoots dust. so i went downstairs to make some dinner and pavel was down there cowering because he is terrified of the vacuum, and when he is scared, he wants to be held and clings on like a baby monkey. any other time, he will claw your eyes out. and actually, cats don’t normally want you to hold them when they are freaked out, they want to hide. so i held him, and it was super hot, so my face was sweating and he was shedding from being scared and i had my face coated with fur. blech. gross.

i was knitting the shrug and it was so hot to have the knitted garment on my lap that i could only do it in small spurts even though i wanted to. and we have airconditioning, even. craziness.

i talked to my mum and told her about jake’s shingles and that the doctor said i was at risk of catching chicken pox because i had never had them, but my mom insisted i had them when i was in high school and only had like 5. i don’t remember, but i hope it is true. i have been exposed a ton of times and never gotten it, so i guess it would make sense. jake is on herpes medicine for it and they seem to be going away now and he isn’t as itchy, so that is a good thing. my dad said you can get immunized against shingles once you have had it, that it is meant for older people, so jake may get that done.

we are having issues with the teeny ants all over the place. mainly in the kitchen, but some upstairs in the bedroom. i got a smelly clove spray that doesn’t seem to work very well. anyone with ideas that will not poison us and our pets would be appreciated. in the garden i used this disgusting clove and garlic combo on the mites in the berries that smells unreal. like a hippy burp. barf.

my mom told me about a family friend’s daughter that was 7 months preggers and didn’t know it. she was the sort that doesn’t get their period anyway. she was feeling nauseous and felt a “churning” in her stomach. she had gained a bit of weight but nothing too crazy, i guess. she is a tall, thin girl. at least she figured it out before the baby came, eh?

so you would like some gratuitous yarn pics, eh? first, this is the secret ingredient in my fiber…

also, i have gotten a few emails about my blog page being all crazy and i am not sure how to fix it. it looks okay on my firefox and safari, so i have not a clue. maybe it needs to be scooted around. or…you all need to get macs. that sounds like a plan. you will be glad that you switched.

ok, i had to add this…this girl’s work is sickeningly good. it is not often that i am just utterly blown out of the water, but this girl…and she is super young, so when she is elderly, like me, she will be a master ten times over…she normally does drawerings but took a drawering and made it into a 3-d piece…check it out here.

also, for people who want their babies to never feel alone…the creepiest thing evah! evah evah! here i found this via www.swissmiss.typepad.com, a fantastic designy blog. ooh la la!

okay…i am off to catch up on my blogs, knitting and watch too much tv. carry on.

thanks so much for the amazing emails and supportive comments and pressies. you guys are a big fatty ray of sunshine! although, it is hot as hell outside, so maybe cut down the sunshine and send a breeze or something. okay?

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
n.

firstly, i finally got pics of the superwash sock yarns that are going out to knitch in atlanta, and some that will be listed soon, i always give one of my clients first dibs, especially since she has been waiting for the damn yarn forever, so the ones she doesn’t get will be listed to-morrow or thursday…wanna see some? ok.

and there are more on my flickr, and more than i took photos of, for some reason. they came out really really pretty, and i feel like i have come a long way, especially after getting handpainted yarns back that i had done in the winter (i think) and the blends werent so nice and they were blotchier, really different. also, i tended to keep with certain colors and now i try to really stay open to the possibilities.

i have been working on some freeform crocheted scarves for sugar’sfall line samples. i have been using noro yarns and will use some handspun, as well. i have made some sashes, i will take photos to-morrow. try, anyway.

speaking of freeform crochet, i sent jenny dowde some yarn to play around with ages ago and hadn’t heard from her. she just put out a new book called freeformations that will be available soon, but she is sending me one because….she used a few of my yarns in there! what? how cool is that? she is the person that made me want to learn to crochet…and i love doing freeform things…it is like the elevator from willy wonka that goes in every direction. it always amazes me when people are afraid to do things without a pattern, and how even when using a pattern, people tend to use the most identical materials to those used in the example that they can find. something like 90% of people knitting patterns buy not only the same yarn in the pattern but the SAME COLOR! jesus. to me, the point of making things is to make it your own. to not be afraid to “mess it up”. you can tear it out, rip it up, make it into something else.

so, i had a headache for days and days and when i didn’t have the headache, i was so exhausted and out of it that i couldn’t get out of bed, didn’t check email, didn’t do anything. it is so odd. i was really out of it today so i just worked on the samples so at least i am getting something done.

i called best buy to see what is up with the camera because it is more than 2 weeks now. no word. they didn’t have anything to tell me, but they did say that as long as everything goes as it should (they agree that the camera kind of…sucks…and is broken for the 4th time) they will give us our money back to get whatever. so. hopefully sooner than later. my in-laws have been letting me use their camera for the last week, but i feel bad keeping it. so.

i have been feeling really isolated lately, not only because of having a rough month, with being sick…all the time, but i miss some of the people i can’t really talk to anymore. i start to think that maybe i can. maybe it will be okay. it won’t, and i don’t want to be a hypocrite. i don’t want to pick on anyone, or be mean. and i don’t mean that in a high and mighty sort of way, but rather in the way that i would call because i missed her and that is selfish.

amy took me to my doctor’s appointment on monday because one of the cars was in pieces (it is fine now, no worries) and it turned out that i was not feeling too well, so it was good that she took me. we were going to go to ligonier afterwards, but i was so out of it, that i went back home, twisted her arm to hang out a bit and then, whilst watching tv, i fell asleep, like an old lady. i slept until that evening. i suck. it is incredibly frustrating. i feel lazy. i really really do.

ok, well, my headache is back, so i am going to go, but i will be back to-morrow if all is well…
xoxoxoxo
n.