luxe

i am just now checking my mail, etc, and only made it through one account. i had that bad night on saturday i think, and it threw me off. i woke up today and was totally exhausted, to the point of not being able to get up, i can’t see straight, or rather, am seeing double. i wanted to do stuff today, but am too out of it to do so. i felt like i could go to sleep at any point during the day. anyway, i know some people tried to call me or dropped an email, i am okay, just totally wiped. i am hoping to be good enough to-morrow to get work done and call people. i have more of the bunny foo foo yarn done (don’t worry, the first one is for you nomes!), the next one is for another person that wanted it last time but it was taken, but i have plenty of the beads and am doing all of them with all of my odds and ends of rovings spun overlapping and with a mixture of 4 different angelina sparklies and some amazing yarns, too, so they are lovely. the client that go the first skein crocheted it up into an amazing scarf using a gigantic hook and i don’t know how to take the photo out of the email and post it here or on my flckr account, or else i would. can anyone tell me how? anyway, it looks incredible. i was really surprised at how fantastic the bits and pieces of roving looked lik together. i do put thought into the color, but mainly just that the contrast to whatever is next to it and don’t use anything plain by itself. it has multiple kinds of wool, ingeo, silk, soy, cotton, bamboo, mohair, merino, and more. seriously. i am aiming at running through all of my bits and pieces and compacting some of my stuff.

i really want to blog more but i am soooo out of it and tired. wanna see? it ain’t pretty. but at least i’m honest. notice that it is dark and my pupils are pinpricks. also, that one eye is halfclosed.
blech. i feel soooo out of it. i also had jake some photos of me working in my sketchook over the weekend and pavel lying under my knees.

i am stunned at how fat i look and how enormous my boobs look/are. i hope it is just a bad bad photo, but i think i need to go on a diet, although i don’t eat much. i also don’t exercise, and hate doing so and would be using what bit of energy i have on it, which doesn’t thrill me. when jake and i started dating i wore a size 3/4 comfortably. and that was 6 years ago? i am not even sure, but not that long and now i am not so happy with my body. i am not even sure what size i wear, but i am always super excited to go to the beach and i am not happy about anyone seeing me, especially my in-laws. maybe my enormous boobs will distract from my enormous thighs? hmmm….it just might work. but i will have to walk backwards. i will have to get a sarong or something. that will amke me feel a bit more comfortable. anyway, i need to do something about it. i don’t want to end up being enormous and have lupus and god knows what else. and jake denies that have gained weight, bless his heart. he says taht he is fat. yup. he says people on the beach will pity me for being with such a “disgusting slob”. i think he has it mixed up. i am an obsessive person as you may have noticed, so the only way i can diet is to REALLY diet. i don’t cheat. i don’t do it halfway. the problem with that is once i get to the part where you start adding carbs or whatever, i am screwed. when i did the atkins to originally lose a bunch of weight, i did fantastically, but i damn near stopped eating because i had no appetite because i was sick of eating the same low carb food and wasn’t hungry. really. i got so skinny that people asked me if i was okay. skinnier than my frame was meant to be. although i was still flabby in the thighs and stuff. so i know that if i want to go back on a diet i can, and i can do well, but i am not good at going back into a normal diet. sigh. i do miss the days not so long ago when i felt hot.

okay, i am going to shower because my nose is super sensitive and i feel like i smell bad. i will postyarn photos and some of the spring knitting and crocheted things i have been doing for luxe. really pretty lightweight stuff…
xo
n.