luxe

i feel like i really should post because i feel like i have been on a different planet all damned week. i got my meds switched and have had more energy, but in a different way, so that i have been overdoing it all the time and screwing my self, although i feel so much better about myself when i get stuff done. i feel better in my brains. like my body is tired and things ache or whatever, the usual, but my brain feel more able to shut it out. that is not so good sometimes. i really zone out when i am doing things.

i forced myself to get up early, even though i haven’t been sleeping, but shite, what difference does it make. i might as well get up and get stuff done. i feel like utter poo until i get some coffee…seriously like i am ill. dying. sick. coffee…okay, in honest, what equals4 cups of coffee in one cup…i am ready to get going. i have just been pushing through, ignoring, doing, going, painting, spinning, cleaning a bit (wot?) i am just in fear that my body will normalize to what i am taking and i will feel like poo again. i am hoping that the old meds were the cause of the big change in my energy. and, i have no appetite. i eat meals, but i don’t snack. i feel good about that. in control of myself. not that some fruit or cereal is sooo bad to eat at night, but for someone that doesn’t exercise…it can have s dire result. we know. don’t we. i don’t want to be sick and unable to move. i want to look young and healthy. just those that see my guts and blood will know i am gimpy.

okay, clearly, i am totally out of it, i have tons to say, but not the brain strength to say it. i finished another bird and some artwork almost. photos tomorrow if i have the time to do it…

xo
n.