luxe

well. i have had a fit of the exhaustion again. 2 days of nothing, in addition to the day before that of doing little. i fight with myself to not get depressed. i fight to not feel lazy. i know that i can’t help it. it just sucks ass. yesterday i didn’t even shower! seriously. i am that wiped. i don’t read a book, knit, crochet, draw, talk on the phone (seriously!) nothing. i am too tired to get up and get coffee in the morning. the cats tell me that they will get it and then i find them napping in the laundry basket. man, they are worse than me. anyway, i do feel a bit better today than i did yesterday. i have my monthly doctor appt tomorrow, so if i feel like this, i will have to take my speed pills he gave me. they are great until it wears off and then you feel like your battery got yanked. so. what battery i have. i wish i could call mac and get a new one.

that said, i have not much to show, but the striped crocheted thingy i am working on is about half done. it has gone much faster than i thought it would. i need to start contacting galleries, but the thought freaks me out. i worked with some places after graduation and i hated the people. i made a point of distancing myself from them and going into tattooing so that i didn’t have to deal with all of that stuff. but the reality was that i didn’t really fit in there, either. i am a nerd. i am a snob. i know this, i have been called this. and i know it is true because it didn’t hurt my feelings at all. i don’t have a portfolio. or a resume. i don’t know how to do all of that stuff anymore and it scares the shit out of me. in fact, being successful scares me more than not. i worry that i would get shows or appearances or classes to teach and not be able to do it for health reasons. in a lot of ways, i am not sure if it is real or just in my head. i have lots of contacts that could steer my in the right direction, who to talk to, what steps i need to take. there are actually some great places in pittsburgh, a contemporary craft museum that has classes and wonderful shows, which i never go to because i am a hermit. a lazy hermit. shameful.

additionally, i am sure all of you that sell stuff online have noticed the steep nosedive that sales have taken. and i know that it isn’t just me. if it were just me, i would feel better about it, i would realize i just needed to change things up. the market is so oversaturated, it is even obvious in the blogging world, there are so many great blogs, you just can’t keep up. etsy is slammed. it has boomed so much that their system can’t even handle it. so where do we go? what is the next step? do we step out of the internet world and back into the real world where people can touch and see things in person? i think so. and i fight it, because i hate that stuff. i suck at it. i am disorganized. i need a manager. an assistant. gah.

i will post photos of the new pieces soon. i am putting some new things on www.luxe.etsy.com as well, so pop by if you fancy.

xo
n.

i have been a bit moody lately, really tired, craving chocos and cranky. really cranky. i am actually too tired to bitch, but i need to. tomorrow is a fresh day, right?

i belong to some softies and plushie groups on livejournal and i often get snarky comments about the creatures i make. they say that they are creepy and scary, or sometimes that they are a piece of crap, or insinuate that there is something wrong with me. the last few times i ignored it. this time, i felt messages saying that cute things are…cute. not problem. i like cute. kittens? love em! puppies? cuuuute! but there are other kinds of cute, other kinds of beauty, and actually i remember in college running into a brickwall because of peoples view that you should make harmless, beautiful things or else….they will beat you up with a puppy or something. the result of all of that, and i guess taking it as the view of me, myself, because i really got picked on a lot for being different growing up. i know we all did, some way worse than me, imagine, but the point is that i learned from a young age that i hate the traditionally pretty things. to such a large degree that i decided that i wouldn’t like something that i might like if i gave it a try because the assholes liked it. does that make any sense? additionally, like a porcupine, i made myself look more uninviting to keep away the kind of people that would hate me anyway. that was my thinking anyway. until recently, i didn’t really understand why i did it so intently. i saw it as being a stupid teenager. but it really wasn’t. it was self preservation and it was a smart thing to do. we moved really often, so my friends changed every couple of years at most, so no backup. why bother?

so now, i see those same people making stupid comments on things that i guess they can’t wrap their heads around. a fuzzy art toy. not meant for an infant to play with. they are meant to show their personalities, and that is what makes them who they are, and no hello kitty. i used to be into hello kitty. as a kid in the 70′s, i wanted it bad. before it full on broke mainstream, people started buying stuff for me wherever they could find it usually from a bigger city. i grew to not like her anymore. what does she do? what is she all about? what does she like? is she a republican? i want to know.

so it comes down to this…janeane garofalo said that the american public don’t care what goes in their eyehole, earhole, nosehole or mouthwhole, and sometimes i agree. make it palatable, that works just fine. sigh. i swear, i won’t sound so mean to-morrow.

i sketched up a couple of sculptures i dreamed of that i am working on now. i started the human form one, which i plan to make the size of a child and then probably some bigger ones, we will see. it is striped red and off-white. i have the head done down to the shoulders. the decreases were just as i went to try to shape. i probably should have taken notes. ah well. we will see how it comes out. i am excited about it. this was what i had started earlier, although i am much further along now, and next is the sketch of what it will be…
working on my desk. um. legs.

my basic design…

i am working on birdie legs for some of the softies so they can stand up better. the photo begs to have way more different scenarious taken, with different things on em, or by themselves, down the street…oooh oooh oooh!

oh, the mean polar bear sold! grrrr! there are a few more still up on my www.luxe.etsy.com shop.
off i go!
xo
n.

lots of excitement at chez luxe today. at 10 a, jake calls to say he is heading home because the power went out at his work 2 hours prior. it had been raining pretty hard. it has been incredibly hot and humid here, getting up into the 80′s and 90′s and rain was needed. the ground is hard as a rock, so everywhere is flooding. anyway, he comes home, i was working on some papier mache birds in the studio, so i continued to do that and not long after, the power flickered, went on, off, on, off and then…off…from 3:30 until 8ish, i think. anyway, it was really kinda nice. we sat in the studio (which is fairly clean right now) and chatted whilst jake played around with his guitar and i worked on the bird stuff. i realized how nice it is to really just hang out and not have a tv on or anything (not even lights). it rained like crazy, i haven’t seen rain like that in a long time. i guess they are saying that a tornado came through and pittsburgh has been put in a state of emergency because there is so much flooding. our basement flooded, but our house is 100 years old with stone walls and a dirt floor, no drain, so it isn’t that big of a deal. some people closer to pittsburgh had water 6 feet high yesterday, i can only imagine the disaster it must be today.

we had to run out to get some food because we couldn’t open the fridge or cook, and a nearby road (119) was washed out. crazy. it was fine when we went out, but on the way back, 10 minutes later, washed out. woo!

anyway, we had such a nice time. jake and i just get along so well. i know you are supposed to like your spouse but he is such a fantastic person. he really is.

so, i overdid it a bit. i wanted to get further along with the piece i was working on than i did, but i made multiple parts to use with a lightweight body as well as the amigurumi ones, i will see how they work. i will probably do some wings that way also. i did some research on smaller sculpture and am really eager to try some different approaches for the toys, and some other things. i have lots of ideas swirling around in my head. i am a 3d person and always have been. as much as i love painting and drawing and collage, i really love sculpture because for me, it is easier to feel like it is a part of my world, and i am a part of its world, as opposed to just looking at an image. does that make sense? i can usually make something 3d more easily than 2d…it just comes out better. we will see, anyway. lots and lots of ideas.

when i was doing my internship/apprenticeship, i worked with an artist named adrienne heinrich, who is so talented and smart that i can’t even put it into words, anyway, she does so much…from the permanent collection of the national gallery to starting art programs for some of the city kids in pittsburgh…so much stuff. when i was paired up with her i instantly loved her work, but somehow i didn’t understand how similar our aesthetic was. i guess i was too immature and young. i wish i could go back and do it again, although it was really really hard work. she makes lots of vessels, boats, figural vessels that are pagan goddesses-but a bit more abstract than that…more about myth…and these are out of bent reeds and tissue and resins and hang outside from trees, all kinds of incredible otherworldly things. i looked at a few of her photos and remembered the things i was working on back then that also dealt with translucent things. vessels, glowing translucence…lots of things. and i woke up really early, really tired. it was so dark and foggy out that i couldn’t see anything beyond the windows. once i got up, i was ready to get cracking. and i did that all day.

here’s to hoping that the legs and beaks i made will work okay with softies. i guess we will see, indeed.

i am pooped. seriously. i have been crocheting more of the mountain things, but out of different shades of brown, taupe and cream yarn that barbe sent me. and these things are biiiiig. i am thinking that i will stuff them a bit and put a bottle or jar full of sand inside it before i sew it up to recycle a bit and make them stand up and not fall over so easily. i initially planned to just do some hose with stuff in it, but i think a bottle or jar will work better. jake was concerned that if i sold it and someones kid bonked their sibling on the head with it, i would be to blame. you know, if your kid bonks you other kid…whatever. it happens. i know i have done it. and had it done, too. bonking, that is. not boinking my brother. that is not appropriate. i’m just saying is all. here is the first of many, this one is wee…about 18 inches, i think…

just another thing caught in my brains. i crocheted 2 more, big ones and used a small hook to make it nice and tight and my right hand and arm are hurting. and i am falling asleep as i write this. so i best go before it makes no sense at all.

more to-morrow, plus some new things in the shop…www.luxe.etsy.com. woot!

sleepy smooches,
n.