luxe

well. i have had a fit of the exhaustion again. 2 days of nothing, in addition to the day before that of doing little. i fight with myself to not get depressed. i fight to not feel lazy. i know that i can’t help it. it just sucks ass. yesterday i didn’t even shower! seriously. i am that wiped. i don’t read a book, knit, crochet, draw, talk on the phone (seriously!) nothing. i am too tired to get up and get coffee in the morning. the cats tell me that they will get it and then i find them napping in the laundry basket. man, they are worse than me. anyway, i do feel a bit better today than i did yesterday. i have my monthly doctor appt tomorrow, so if i feel like this, i will have to take my speed pills he gave me. they are great until it wears off and then you feel like your battery got yanked. so. what battery i have. i wish i could call mac and get a new one.

that said, i have not much to show, but the striped crocheted thingy i am working on is about half done. it has gone much faster than i thought it would. i need to start contacting galleries, but the thought freaks me out. i worked with some places after graduation and i hated the people. i made a point of distancing myself from them and going into tattooing so that i didn’t have to deal with all of that stuff. but the reality was that i didn’t really fit in there, either. i am a nerd. i am a snob. i know this, i have been called this. and i know it is true because it didn’t hurt my feelings at all. i don’t have a portfolio. or a resume. i don’t know how to do all of that stuff anymore and it scares the shit out of me. in fact, being successful scares me more than not. i worry that i would get shows or appearances or classes to teach and not be able to do it for health reasons. in a lot of ways, i am not sure if it is real or just in my head. i have lots of contacts that could steer my in the right direction, who to talk to, what steps i need to take. there are actually some great places in pittsburgh, a contemporary craft museum that has classes and wonderful shows, which i never go to because i am a hermit. a lazy hermit. shameful.

additionally, i am sure all of you that sell stuff online have noticed the steep nosedive that sales have taken. and i know that it isn’t just me. if it were just me, i would feel better about it, i would realize i just needed to change things up. the market is so oversaturated, it is even obvious in the blogging world, there are so many great blogs, you just can’t keep up. etsy is slammed. it has boomed so much that their system can’t even handle it. so where do we go? what is the next step? do we step out of the internet world and back into the real world where people can touch and see things in person? i think so. and i fight it, because i hate that stuff. i suck at it. i am disorganized. i need a manager. an assistant. gah.

i will post photos of the new pieces soon. i am putting some new things on www.luxe.etsy.com as well, so pop by if you fancy.

xo
n.