luxe

i am having a really hard time getting up. i have stuff that has to get out today and i have just now gotten my coffee and pep pill. i am so tired. my mind has been racing with all of the things i want to make and do, but the body is just not cooperating. it is a funny thing, on lupus group online i notice that people make comments that lupus sucks, or chronic fatigue sucks, or whatever. i consider it to be a part of who i am. it is strange, when i really think about it. i have always felt that way about all of my various maladies, that they just are a part of me, just like the parts that i like. is that a healthy way to think? i dunno. i never think of any of my issues as things that will ever go away. it just is a part of me and i don’t really judge it beyond that. it just is.

regardless, the trip to LA really pooped me out. any trip or event tends to put me in a tailspin. that part of me is frustrating. it keeps me from traveling or participating in things i would like to be a part of. i am always in fear that i will be too sick and have to ditch out, which happens more often than not.

last night i kept waking up with a migraine, and this morning, too, so i guess this is the fallout from last night. i feel scrambled and tired. i figured i would moan about it a bit.

okay, getting up. getting going. wish me luck.
xo
n.

i was a bit stressed about going out to my brother’s wedding in LA, especially because jake had to stay home with the kitten and the cats. my mom didn’t seem to believe that was the real reason he wasn’t coming, but, the kitten has never been alone and has just passed the 2 month mark, and the cats will eat her fancy baby kitten chow, so. i got to LA and despite it being a really short stay, not being able to see my niece and nephews and uncle and aunt from australia, i did get to spend a bit of quality time with my younger brother and a bit of time with his new wife christina who is honestly an amazing girl. she is smart and kind and really has brought out the best in my brother. i know that jake brings out the best in me, so i
think i kind of get how being with someone that makes you feel safe and happy and able to really become who you aspire to be, it can do amaze things. that alone would make her something special, but she really is cool. i am hoping that jake and i can take a trip out to LA to visit them, and of course we would love to have them here, although i know things are a bit less exciting in this neck of the woods. the wedding present i had planned was not able to be done in time, but i think it was a good thing because i took photos of the wedding and some of just them and got some really good ideas that might really be even better. at my wedding, we got CRAP photos and i later regretted not wearing a lighter colored dress, if not a wedding dress. knowing that as chicks, we want to have really good photos of our wedding, and of us, because we might not look as good later on (like our butt might grow. mine did, anyway.) and it is just nice to have some rockstar photos, you know? so i made a point to take lots of photos and some of them are awesome. christina is a librarian and is huge into the old movie starlets and some of the photos really really look like she is a movie starlet. really good. i am jealous that i don’t have some like that. anyway, i will be working on them and the present, which i will have to keep mum for now, but i will of course reveal it as soon as it is done. squeee! i am excited. hopefully they will, too.

they had hollywood hair and makeup people, which was really cool. i never had my makeup done professionally before. the makeup guy told me to stop using the bit of tanner that i use and go pale again with some pinky blush. what do you guys think? granted, i am not TAN, i just have such a sallow and pale complexion that i otherwise look sick. i sported that look for most of my life, being into the cure and whatnot. here are some side by sides….

those actually aren’t the best photos. the mac guy told me that mac has a primer called “the paint” that really makes eyeliner and shadow stay. i have really oily eyes and it never stays at all, and this actually stayed for quite a while, so i will be picking that up.

anyway, it was a really cool wedding. the dude that married them is charles phoenix who is an artist and author, among other things, and wore a shriners outfit, complete with a fez! the ceremony was short and really cute. they totally adore each other in a very real way…you can tell that they really get each other and really like each other, and as someone who is blessed to be in a similar kind of relationship, it is the beginning of a different kind of life, one that you can really be yourself and grow and be happy. i think i said that already. anyway, i have to thank christina for bringing my brother and i closer. we have had a pretty rocky relationship and have never really known each other very well. i think that things will change. i think we have realized that we aren’t all that different, and maybe that is part of why we clashed so much.

here is a shot of me with hair and makeup done…

totally off subject…how kewl is this chair?

my brother sent me this article which i hadn’t heard about. although, it doesn’t surprise me that people act so stupid about it. guys have seen their wieners before, right?

in strange health news, my mom mentioned to me that the hospital i was born in had construction going on and i got some sort of really bad infection soon after birth. i know that my health problems started thereafter and didn’t really quit. i wonder what i was exposed to? there is not really a history of any illnesses similar to mine in the family, so i wonder if it started then.

i am trying desperately to catch up on work and get more stuff listed. i listed a good amount of stuff before i left, including some of the crocheted bracelets and neckywarmers, i have more to list. i still need to take photos, too. jakie was sick today and stayed home, so i didn’t get much done. i was jetlagged and headachey, so that didn’t really help much.

i missed you guys!
warm fuzzies
n.

let me start by saying that when jake left here, i think the ghosts all came out. i hear pots and pans clattering in the kitchen where there are no open doors, windows or anyone. last night i just about crapped my pants when the hall light clicked itself on. it is a hard lightswitch to flip, i was sure that someone was in the house and about to come up the stairs. i went out in the hall (and i would do what?) to peek, and pavel is sitting on the handrail a few feet away from the switch. i don’t know that his paw would have the strength to do it, though? anyway, when none of the cats were looking freaked out, as they would if anyone was at the door, let alone in the house, i just figured it was a ghost or something. and barbe told me that a crank window shut itself about the same time last night…it was after midnight, maybe one…anyone else?

i had to blog right away because i got some books from amazon…the one that totally made me excited was the new book from knit knit which is a really cool zine about…knitting, although mostly in a more fiberartsy or fineartsy sense. this book is GORGEOUS and inspiring and i rarely say both of those things about a book. i didn’t realize that this book had patterns in it, i thought it would be like the zine, but it is a nice big book, wonderful layout, great photos and interviews…really exciting. so buy it! if you like the more unusual selvedge mag and fiberarts and stranger kinds of stuff….all of your idols will be in here. i promise. some of the designers had faces i had never seen before. it is strange how we imagine what people look like even if we don’t think we do. like reading a book and imagining what a character looks like and seeing the movie and getting annoyed that she doesn’t look right.

i got some work done today, but i feel really tired now. i have lots more to do and to-morrow is the last day before i leave. orders to pack, laundry to do, spinning, etc, etc. i also have been finishing up some of the softies i crocheted up a while ago, adding faces and wings and wire leggies. i will take photos if the weather is okay to-morrow. i have lots to show you, i promise. even when i don’t blog, i am usually plugging away at something. even if i only work on it in bed.

i will blog more later,
warm fuzzies
n.

well! i have been feeling tired and out of sorts and have missed jake more than i could have imagined. we only spend a few hours together at night usually, but i guess even just having him sleeping next to me while i work on whatever project means more than i thought it did. he came home for the weekend and then left again super early this morning. poor pavel misses him so much. when he had his luggage downstairs ready to go, poor pavel went up and downstairs over and over and rubbed his face on everything and kept looking at me as if to ask if papa was REALLY leaving again. after he left, pavel walked around the house crying. poor boy. anyway, we miss our jakie. we really do.

i have had some bad medication days which is a killer. i end up sitting on the floor in the shower until the hot water runs out. it is the only thing that helps me deal with my skin crawling, hot/cold, etc, etc. it sucks. gah. it just really tires me out, i guess, so i have been doing NOTHING. i am sooooo behind on everything and it bums me out.

what have i made? well, here is a bit of stuff. i have done a bunch of neckies and poppy scarfalettas and some crocheted bracelets that i really like and are really comfy. i even made some non child-sized ones (you guys know about my freaky small wrists, right?) for the normal peeps out there. woot!

so i got a gorgeous package from ms chocolatte herself (who i STILL owe a nice package back to…i haven’t forgotten you, i am just the slowest in the world. on the upside, i keep adding stuff and adding stuff, so it is worth the wait. i think.) thanks thanks thanks! i wasn’t expecting anything and i was tickled! i need to take photos when it is light out.

i also got a package of superwash wool from the sheepshed and some lovely black mohair top. the fiber is softer than the stuff i have gotten in the past. it seems like some colors are softer than others, but once you wash the stuff out of it, it softens up, too. woot for dyed fiber!

i am leaving on thursday for my brother’s wedding in LA. i am excited to see everyone. there are peeps coming from all over (like australia!) pretty cool. it is at a hollywood mansion so i will have to take loads of photos and then tell everyone that i live there. good idea, no?

i got softies in the mail as one of my birfday purchases, which is just a gorgeous book. i am not a pattern follower, but i still feel compelled to buy the books. on one hand, i love to see how other people make things, and on the other, i am a book nut. in my family, we all are, i reckon. i feel compelled. anyone, it is really cute and has a lot of the great softie makers out there in the book. really good. two thumbs up. they also have paper patterns in the back. kewl?

i have finally learned that when i am awakened by a kitten bite on the mouth, it means “feed me. now.”. just so you know. she used to purr and then squeak at me. ah well. i guess i order at restaurants by biting the waitress on the mouth, too.

off to do my thang. whatever that is. mwah.
n.

i went onto amazon and blew all of it. 150 bucks on books. i luv it. as a kid, we really didn’t have many toys (my parents got over the toy thing in time for my much younger bro, lucky dog, you!) but we were always allowed to get a book whenever we went to the bookstore, or a record. thus, i still am a big book and music buyer. that and art supplies are the only things i tend to spend money on without feeling guilty. i hoard those things. we have loads of books. and i think all of us in the my family do, too. i have my parents to thank for that. no really. i could be hoarding milk glass or something. not that there is anything wrong with that.

i had a day of feeling strange and headachy and tired. i did spend hours on the phone blabbing to barbe rather than doing work. i really do feel odd. and really shakey. my hands are shaking like crazy. not sure what that is all about. jake is back in new york this week. i had him for my birthday on saturday and then he left sunday and i do really miss him. poor pavel has been really bummed out about his papa being gone. he keeps to himself. he already was acting strange because the other cats were being funny about the kitten, although i catch him hanging out with the kitten (or rather, letting her hang out with him) but he acts all aloof like he doesn’t know she is there, or playing with her, which is even more crazy. i hope they will be close. he needs a friend. other than jake, he is just not connected to anyone much. he will come and sit next to me when he is super lonely, but i am not his beloved papa. poor fella. when jake isn’t here, my horrible eating habits are even worse (is that possible?) and i am too lazy to cook something/have no food in the house other than cereal and yogurt, so ya know. if i was single i might starve to death. or eat cat food. which is really good quality stuff, i bet it would be healthy.

in other kitten news (i was just going to spell news “noose” um.) isobel is eating hard food! i got her this baby kitten food which has teeny pieces and she actually really likes it a lot. unfortunately, kahlo and peeps love it, too, so i have to feed her by herself, i let her come and get me when she is hungry. so. she has been acting like a little maniac hopping around and jumping and biting. i got her this halloween cat toy that is a plush ring with a face and bat wings and a tail which i put over her head and she attacks and it keeps her busy for a few minutes, although, if she decides that she will terrorize me or my computer or knitting or whatever, she will. and that is just the way it is. here she is being attacked by her halloween toy. it is trying to eat her.

i have some really purdy poppy scarfalettas ready to list, neckywarmers, yarn, so much stuff. i just need to take photos and list em. i feel so guilty about it. gah. here are some birds i got legs on finally. they stand up on their own! woot! and poseable, too. i had made the bodies and they sat around for months whilst i got the legs attached. i have a bunch of other featureless softies that need to be finished, too. i also need to list that zombie pirate….

i need to get some new clothes for fall. i got rid of all of the crap that didn’t fit, although i have some stuff that i still need to ditch, but i need some good pants and jeans. whilst looking online for some suggestions, i found this cool site that helps show you what jeans would suit your figure and needs best, and they do that for other things, too. for free! kewl? ya. i guess it is just to see if the jeans actually do look nice. ya know?

okay, i am going to try to feed the kitten and sleep a bit. thanks for all the birthday wishes. it makes me feel special. it does..

mwah!
n.

i had kinda of sucky birfday. on the upside, jake was home for the day (yeah, the day. he got home yesterday afternoon and leaves again for new york to-morrow afternoon). i got a nice card from the in-laws, a nice one from my mom and some stuff from jake i will get to-morrow, and shannon sent me a gift certificate for amazon. woot! i got kind of emotional, but that was it. jake wanted to take me to one of my favorite restaurants but i didn’t wanna go. i felt like a wasted my one day with jakie being mopey. gah.

so my 800th blogger post! crazy? yeah.

i just wanted to pop in. i have lots of new stuff to show ya, i need to take photos. so i hope to do that to-morrow. some new amigurumi birds that stand up, among other things. so much to do, so little energy.

xo
n.

being alone is so odd. jake and i are always together, always. we rarely do things apart and i miss him. what i notice, though, is that i don’t eat meals, except for breakfast, and that i push myself to do more when he isn’t around. i worry that i take advantage of him, letting him run around and do errands for me. ya know?

i got two ott-lights for 100 bucks, a desk one and a standing one and i put the desk one next to my bed to see if it was any better, because i do a lot on the bed, prep-wise, etc. at first, i thought it was making my eyes go funny, like a regular florescent light, but actually, i think my eyes are just trying to get used to it. i am really sensitive to lighting. if i shop at a big box store that has floro lights, i tend to get bad headaches. i didn’t really sleep last night and then woke up when the sun came up, actually feeling rather energetic. i wondered if it was the light. i know that might sound dumb, but i just don’t tend to wake up early and have enough energy to get up at 6:30 and make some coffee and cereal.

in izzy news, she has been pretty wild. she figured out how to climb up one of the scratchers (as well as using it to scratch on) like spidergirl, and does that with the bed, too. she got up on the scratcher and got onto the window sill and looked out the window. she really is just all over the place. and what else? i found her in the bathroom sleeping next to pavel’s socky. a sec later, pavel came in, i thought he would freak out, he doesn’t like anyone, even us, touching his socky, but he not only didn’t get mad at izzy but he laid down next to her…about a foot away. izzy thinks pavel is very cool, clearly, and he seems to like her following him around. cute. it would be nice for him to have a cat friend. plus, he doesn’t pee everywhere like peeps does, he is really good in that respect, so he would be a good cat role model for izzy.

so, i finished some yarn orders, packed stuff up, went to the post office, popped into the craft store to get some things there to do more beaded poppies (i have loads). i think i would to do a poppy scarf that is almost solid poppies. maybe on a lace scarf or a silk scarf or fabric. dunno. it would be expensive because it would take a lot of time, but it would be a showstopper.

i am being attacked by the kitten and typing is a challenge. i am going to sign off before i freak out. oh, i finished a couple of standing amigurumi and felt birdies that i will take photos of to-morrow. woooooot!

headache. sleepy. going. going. gone.
xoxoxoxoxoxo
n.

well, jakie is in new york all week for work, so i am at chez luxe, me and the kitties, on the strange schedule, eating strange food and making stuff. i do miss him, though. sweet boy.

i worked on yarns, prep work, etc, and i need to get some dyeing done (for you and me, shannon) to-morrow. today though, i have a case of the dizzies. i woke up with the migraine, like always, went through being nauseous and dizzy and it hasn’t really gone away. i am hoping it isn’t a precursor to feeling super bad to-morrow. that happens sometimes. also, i have to go to the pharmacy to pick up meds, so if i am still dizzy and migrainey, well, that is an issue. i can call my mom in law, she is a doll and would do anything for me. so wish me luck on that.

izzy was pretty good today. she attacked one of the novelty yarns i was cutting up for spider yarn, at the same time, attacking her feather toy and her mouse that i made her. she gives short attention span a whole new meaning. yet, at the same time, very single minded. she has this very strange humanity in her eyes, though. not like kahlo that just has kind, soulful eyes, izzy looks like a person sometimes, like she is someone i knew before. i don’t know who. as i speak. she is attacking the computer from behind and peeking around at me. so cute. give her a big 2 lb cone of yarn and she will keep herself busy. cute! now that she can use the litterbox and…oh, i forgot to tell you that she could get up and down the steps…FAST. it is amazing how quick she is. very coordinated for her age, i think.

did anyone check out the bionic woman? there are some people from battletar gallactica, so that is cool. i liked the first episode a lot. also, there is a show called journeyman that is good so far. also, i am loving brotherhood on showtime. the strange thing about that show (other than the really good rhode island accents that british actors are doing) is that a girl that i went to (one of the many)high school with is in it. she is my age (did i mention that my birthday is on the 6th? finally 22! yay!) but looks so different than she did. she was curvy in high school and is rail thin now. ages ago i saw this movie with john hurt in it about a man whose wife couldn’t have children and went nutso and tried to steal people’s kids. anyway, i realized that the woman who screamed “she took my baby!” was tina, too. it wierded me out. also, we have been watching weeds on hbo, which is really funny. i am reading saul bellows’ “adventures of augie march”. i tend to buy the really long books because if i actually like the characters and the story, i get bummed out when the book is over, so i try to get the longest ones i can. and if it sucks, i stop reading it. i won’t read stuff that sucks. ya know? i really want to reread oryx and crake my margaret atwood, which is one of my favorite books evah. i was actually so sad when the book was over (like i feel about most of her newer books) and then found myself wondering what the characters were doing, like they are alive. loved it. and rant, the new chuck p book, i need to read that one again, too. such a cool book.

jakie got me the new pinback cd for an early birthday pressie and some art supplies, cause he is really sweet. i like that guy, i really do.

i will attempt to blog about some of the issues i have wanted to talk about lately, but haven’t. so to-morrow, i will do my best. updates go first though. they do.

xo
n.