junkie blues…
i had really strange and sad dreams about my grandfather (who died a little while ago) dying, and being with my mom and granny waiting for him to die. i hate the hospital. one of the things i do remember was that the mattresses had goldfish inside of them. anyway, i woke up in the morning and the power went off (it was off all day, too.) and got my favorite mysterious malady, the junkie blues. i have no other way to describe it other than what i imagine kicking drugs must be like. my skin crawls, i can’t sit still, everything hurts, i literally feel like i will do anything to make it stop. it lasts hours. this time, it lasted from 10 am until about 4 pm. in that time, i took 5 showers and 1 bath. odd as it sounds, i lay down in the shower and let the water hit the soles of my feet.
needless to say, that was what i did today. i did my best to try to work on something else, but i couldn’t. after jake got home, i fell asleep for a bit. feeling miserable like that really makes me exhausted. le sigh. i feel better now. tired, but much better.
otherwise, i have done a decent amount of spinning lately, i was supposed to do an update on sunday and didn’t feel up to it, and still haven’t. i will get to it ASAP. i swear.
my friend katrina is going to have to get surgery soon and i just wanted to give a shoutout to her and her amazing partner sending my love and positive thoughts. she has been a wonderful, thoughtful friend to me. she is one of the sweetest people i have ever met. she is one of those few people that make it past age 20 without being jaded and negative, despite having a less than perfect life. that is quite an amazing quality. she is always open to learning new things and she rocks.
xoxo
n.