okay, so i have been a bit absent lately. all of the horrible things that have happened this week, i just didn’t even know what to say. on the same day, the shootings in virginia and all of the car bombs in the “safe zone” which barely made the news at all. horrible. all of it, horrible. and in this area, on the same days as those things happened, and last night, shootings all over the place, plane crashes, crazy stuff.
kurt vonnegut passing away kicked off the bad week. jake and i both are huuuuge vonnegut fans. i have read most of his books (and that is a LOT for the non-kurt peeps out there) and i will have to make sure to read the ones that i haven’t read. maybe my favorite one of his books, dead eye dick, is about a guy with the worst luck in the world. he is messing around with a gun and the bullet goes through a series of different places and ends up killing a pregnant woman who is vacuuming her house. needles to say, he is called deadeye dick from there on. poor fella. i imagine that kurt is somewhere else raising hell and smoking cigarettes. in the end, he was right, cigarettes wouldn’t kill him after all. go figure.
i have had a week of exhaustion. my least favorite thing in the world. oh wait, i hate the heeby jeebies worse. i used to get that skin crawling feeling all the time and it is unbearable. anyway, this weekend we were rather busy, i pushed myself to do a bit more and go out with jakie. monday i was really pooped. tuesday, pooped. donna came and hung out with me and sat in my stinky bedroom and watched tv and looked at pattern books with me. oh, and taught me to do 2 socks on one magic loop! i knew how to do one, but i am so excited to have learned two! here is a photo of it in progress, since ripped out. but this is my own handpainted yarn. pretty, right?
i actually ended up tearing out the original pair and starting over, and i even think i understand how to finish them. i will keep you posted. so thanks donna! we have a nice time together.
so then yesterday, i got work done and then was so exhausted that i got nothing else done. jake cooked dinner. i feel awful when i am too tired to help out. i had a hair appointment today and dragged my butt out of bed, no time for coffee, was yawning at the salon and started in with the creepy crawls (sigh) and went hom afterwards rather than doing the stuff that i needed to do. grrr. my hairdresser gave me an awesome new hairstyle. i absolutely love it. wanna see a bad photo of it? okay…
it is in a pony tail in the back, so it is still long…
i realize i should have had jakie take photos for me, i will do that to-morrow. it doesn’t really show the hair very well. it has a sideswept bang that can go straight down, to the side or be pinned back, some shorter wispies on the side and then long in the back with a bit of layers. i feel like it softens my eyes a bit so they don’t look so buggy. what do you guys thing? we put a section of dark through the middle of the blonde and i like how it looks a lot better. worked out really well. i think she was pleased to do something different. right before cutting me bangs, she asked if i was ready…i told her that unless she had something evil in mind, like a mullet (although those are um..stylish again. yipes.) that i wasn’t worries. just hair. although when i got the two worst hairstyles of my life it wasn’t just hair.
so i came home, relaxed in hopes of recharging a bit. i haven’t really been sleeping so well and have horrible nightmares. i wish i knew a way to make them stop. i have had nightmares all my life. my niece, maddy has really bad nightmares, too. i feel like she was meant to be my daughter. i never thought i would have felt so connected to that little girl. i sent my mom a wrap that i knitted for her from an ironstone yarn kit that was cream with sparkle and texture, really pretty, i put in some really cute day of the week underpants for maddie and some dance ones, too, maddy, like me, needs her underthings to match her outfit. i have been that way since i was little. my mom said it was a pain how specific i was about everything and she is the same way. i am that way still, if not very fashionable. and my underpants most always match. if they don’t, you know that i must be really out of sorts. anyway, she demanded that she had to put the frog ones on immediately to wear to sleep in. it cracked me up. not many 4 year olds are excited for new underpants (*i hate the word “panties” and refuse to use it.). my mom said she really like that wrap and being someone who has everything, if you give her a scarf, she will only wear it with a specific outfit, so she may only ever wear the things i make her once (at least once, i hope.).
i really avoid posting when i feel cruddy. i don’t wanna moan and groan more than necessary. and frankly, i don’t even have the energy at those points to complain. i lie down and do…nothing. weeeeee! however, if you are having pain or depression problems (or both) and need to talk about it…do! don’t hold it in. it makes you feel like you are going crazy, when it is something that lots of people deal with and often, people are happy to talk about it. don’t let it fester. find someone to talk to.
warm fuzzies,
n.