luxe

well! i have been feeling tired and out of sorts and have missed jake more than i could have imagined. we only spend a few hours together at night usually, but i guess even just having him sleeping next to me while i work on whatever project means more than i thought it did. he came home for the weekend and then left again super early this morning. poor pavel misses him so much. when he had his luggage downstairs ready to go, poor pavel went up and downstairs over and over and rubbed his face on everything and kept looking at me as if to ask if papa was REALLY leaving again. after he left, pavel walked around the house crying. poor boy. anyway, we miss our jakie. we really do.

i have had some bad medication days which is a killer. i end up sitting on the floor in the shower until the hot water runs out. it is the only thing that helps me deal with my skin crawling, hot/cold, etc, etc. it sucks. gah. it just really tires me out, i guess, so i have been doing NOTHING. i am sooooo behind on everything and it bums me out.

what have i made? well, here is a bit of stuff. i have done a bunch of neckies and poppy scarfalettas and some crocheted bracelets that i really like and are really comfy. i even made some non child-sized ones (you guys know about my freaky small wrists, right?) for the normal peeps out there. woot!

so i got a gorgeous package from ms chocolatte herself (who i STILL owe a nice package back to…i haven’t forgotten you, i am just the slowest in the world. on the upside, i keep adding stuff and adding stuff, so it is worth the wait. i think.) thanks thanks thanks! i wasn’t expecting anything and i was tickled! i need to take photos when it is light out.

i also got a package of superwash wool from the sheepshed and some lovely black mohair top. the fiber is softer than the stuff i have gotten in the past. it seems like some colors are softer than others, but once you wash the stuff out of it, it softens up, too. woot for dyed fiber!

i am leaving on thursday for my brother’s wedding in LA. i am excited to see everyone. there are peeps coming from all over (like australia!) pretty cool. it is at a hollywood mansion so i will have to take loads of photos and then tell everyone that i live there. good idea, no?

i got softies in the mail as one of my birfday purchases, which is just a gorgeous book. i am not a pattern follower, but i still feel compelled to buy the books. on one hand, i love to see how other people make things, and on the other, i am a book nut. in my family, we all are, i reckon. i feel compelled. anyone, it is really cute and has a lot of the great softie makers out there in the book. really good. two thumbs up. they also have paper patterns in the back. kewl?

i have finally learned that when i am awakened by a kitten bite on the mouth, it means “feed me. now.”. just so you know. she used to purr and then squeak at me. ah well. i guess i order at restaurants by biting the waitress on the mouth, too.

off to do my thang. whatever that is. mwah.
n.

man, i had a bad run. the last week or so i have just been feeling like poo. yesterday, worse and today, really bad. i am not exactly sure what the deal was. i did a bit of snooping on a new site i found called www.butyoudontlooksick.com that basically deals with all kinds of things that we deal with…at first, i thought it was just the lady problems that were making me flare up, i guess that is pretty normal in all of the maladies i have, but it got really bad. i had the sweats, the chills, heebie jeebies, i am not sure if i had a bad batch of patches. i ended up taking a shower, sitting down and drying off, getting dressed and back into bed and then basically getting back into the shower. by the 6th time, i took a chill pill (literally) a pain pill, put new patches on and was so exhausted that i sat down in the shower. i am not sure what it was that helped, but by the time i got out, i felt human, was able to watch ugly betty with jake and go online! wha?

i am super behind in getting any work done, getting orders out, returning and checking my email. it is beyond frustrating. i know i can only do what i can do, but it doesn’t change the fact that it drives me crazy. when i can’t even get myself somewhat under control with medications, i really start to freak out. i have been more emotional than i usually am, i am sure due to hormones, but still, when i don’t do anything, not even things i enjoy…don’t read a book, knit, talk on the phone, make something…anything, it just drives me crazy. i don’t wanna whine anymore, i just wanted to vent a bit.

jake is so sweet to me. he keeps asking what he can do, what he can get, what can he make…meanwhile, i haven’t even done a minimum of housework, cooked dinner, scooped litterboxes, nothing. i barely can get out of bed and take a shower. i am too tired to make a cup of coffee. he is just so kind. he never makes me feel guilty. he acts like it is crazy for me to think i should help out around the house, or do anything more than lie in bed all day. i don’t know that i could work as hard as he does, come home and do whatever needs to be done and still be so nice and sweet. i don’t think i could. i love you jakie. you is the best. you my flowa.

okay, gotta check some emails. to-morrow, as jake always says, i will feel better.

mwah!
n.

soooo…after i posted this morning i slept off and on all day long. slept enough that i actually had dreams. i did nothing, i didn’t shower until almost 4 o’clock, and i have a headache now, too. so. gah! i hate not getting anything done. i wanted to at least update today. i will be listing some of the vintage things i have picked up lately, so if you saw something you liked, let me know. i also have a ton of loose fiber that i bagged and labeled that will be listed, as well as handpainted top. really pretty. i will do that to-morrow barring pulling another rip van winkle. gah!

in other news, i came across this and i am wondering if i owe my large butt and boobage to double boobage? what do you think?

and here are some kitties who lub their handsome, sweet papa…

somehow, i am tired, so i am going to read and watch a bit of tv and hopefully to-morrow i will feel better. or awake. oh, also, i picked up coffee from a local coffee shop that roasts their own. i got some decaf and some regular so that if i want it later at night i can. the bags are marked with some other kind of coffee altogether, i think that it was just whatever bag they had, but i have no idea which is which and they look identical inside. so i have no idea if they are or aren’t. sigh. the coffee wasn’t great anyway, but i really won’t be buying more. i am a coffee snob. ah well.

xo
n.

i have been such a bad blogger lately, i just don’t have the energy and of course i am super behind on ready all of your blogs (i have close to 200!) and they get out of hand quickly. i hate it. it makes me feel guilty, as stupid as i know that is. it is really hard to decide if i should try to catch up on blogs or draw, read, etc, etc, etc. mainly, i have had lots of headaches and have been just pushing to get as much done as i can and i feel a bit like i am just treading water. you know?

i have been having lots of nightmares, like usual, i don’t understand them because they are so complex. they tend to be set on college campuses, sometimes i am taking classes, sometimes it is just there. several dreams have had fish in them which were cut off at the tail, but were not killed. no idea what that means. and almost always, i am being chased and attacked or threatened and am often attempting to protect another person or animal. sigh.

i was sketching one night and kept falling asleep, and kind of woke up and wrote down what i was dreaming, my writing is so bad that it is hard to read:

all of my
old clothes
cried out to
me-all the different
faceless me’s
w/their different
cute (?) self(?) & hairstyles
drowning (?) ?????
like the
one in the patternless fashions

and then a really odd scribbly drawing of two people. um. no clue. but i do remember sort of seeing all the different versions of myself over the years all together. in the book patternless fashions, which was originally written in china, there are fantastic illustrations fromt hat time with faceless people with cute clothes and hairstyles, so i assume that is what i was talking about? dunno.

jake had some sort of 24 hour flu yesterday and i think i had sympathy flu. i kept falling asleep throughout the day, but really asleep, not just a nap. poor jake felt sick when he got up at 3a and went to work anyway and came home at 8 am and was either in the bathroom (powdering his nose, hee.) or totally conked out and coverd in sweat or goosebumps. he is the type of person that eats every hour or two or gets, as i call it, “hangry” which is angry and hungry, although the low blood sugar makes him feel legitimately angry. you know? so he was very dizzy as well, which may have been from the flu or lack of eating. he normally has a rather healthy, ruddy complexion and was literally green. he always has very red lips and they were pale. it is odd to see him sick because he never gets sick. anyway, pavel wanted to cuddle with his papa and take care of him, which is extra sweet because he is not that way. wanna see?

poor boy.

otherwise, i have done a good bit of spinning and dyeing. i really need to finish some mixed media boxes and other things. i feel very annoyed with myself that i haven’t made the time. here is some of what i have been working on…

i have some lovely yarns i need to take photos of, as well. i have been dyeing felt, which will be for sale. the deeper colored ones are 100% wool felt, and the rest is wool and rayon blend, which feels much nicer and looks rather pretty, i must say. i will be listing some soon. so pretty. and i realized really quickly that it is impossible to find unusual colors of felt that is of any kind of quality and ti get handdyed felt…forget it. i keep meaning to make felt myself, but with my energy issues, it just doesn’t seem realistic.

my mom will be in town for a few days, coming in to-morrow. i hope to get work done this week regardless becase we are leaving this coming weekend for the beach. wooo hoooo!

okay, i am getting super sleepy.
xo
n.