luxe

that said, i listed some amigurumi birds, a bunch of knits and some yarn. i am planning to list more to-morrow.

i have actually had a productive week and it makes me feel like a real person! weeeeeeeee. i know i say it all the time, but if i had normal energy, i would be dangerous. i tend to avoid getting involved in things that require firm plans. i am paranoid that i will be sick when i need to be doing, making, etc. it bums me out. there are so many things i would love to do, but i know that you can’t ditch out on things. when i have a few days of feeling good, i get all excited, i think maybe i am okay now. maybe i just thought i was sick. and then the anvil drops on my head, and i remember. so i guess the trick is to use every moment that i have, and to be in that moment as much as i can. when i feel crummy, i try to work on projects in bed. sometimes i feel to crummy to do anything. i don’t go online. i don’t talk on the phone. i don’t do anything. thankfully, it is only a few days a month that i am too sick to even knit or crochet. making things helps me to feel like i did something of value.

i have gotten mostly caught up with work. i have more to list and i really need to find someone that can fix my website. since the zencart update, i can’t do anything on there at all. if anyone knows someone, let me know. my friend that set it up for me has a real job and a lady and is busy, so i feel bad asking him to try to open up the can of worms. i hope i don’t need to get a new site designed. i need to find someone to do it for me first, really. jeebus. i got poppy pins made, stitchmarkers made (they go in as the freebie with yarn orders), got some yarns spun up, packed up orders. now i just need to get the studio organized and cleaned up, and the bedroom, also. wanna see some of the new stuff i have made? this one is “sam i am”…

i am incredibly sleepy, i haven’t been able to sleep lately, so i best get going. i am literally 2 months behind on blogreading, so please forgive me. i feel bad about it, and the further behind i get, the worse it is. i have lots of crocheted jewelry that needs to be listing and more to come. it is fun, you can use small hooks but not take forever to amek it. and that rocks. i also ordered a few more dye colors and fiber reactive dyes for the bamboo i am dyeing for shannon’s new book. so. i hope to do some dyeing this week if i can.

i smelled the paris hilton fragrance “can-can” and it smells awesome. like candy. actually all of them are not bad. i told jake they should be nice. she has been raised on the best of everything. she should know what smells nice. i may yet get that one, it is so good. and the new escada smells like grapefruit candy. i have their one from last summer and it smells like candy, and i tend to lean towards fruity scents, never floral. most things give me a headache, foody frangrances not so much. blah blah blah.

oh, here is a photo i took of myself getting a migraine. jake thought it was an excellent representation of it. i am not exactly sure why i look like i have on lipstick. hm.tell me what you think…

leave me some comments so i know i didn’t lose ya. oh, tons of new photos on my flickr, so buzz by…okay? i’ve missed you.

MWAH.
n.

this will be short, i have been fighting off a migraine for the last 5 hours or so.

i got a few new yarns done and updated www.luxe.etsy.com, and i will be adding tons more stuff over the week, so please check in as often as you fancy. i have some lovely soft neckywarmers and scarves, some of my creatures, some buttons, fiber and of course some yarns. so. go. check it out.

i have to pack up orders to-morrow, do some updating, and some dyeing. shannon told me she has been doing some sun dyeing and it has been really warm and gorgeous here, so i think i will give that a shot. i haven’t done any in ages. shameful.

last night (i don’t think i blogged this yet), i didn’t sleep, hence the headache, i assume, but izzy ended up in between me and peeps, i moved her a bit to see what peeps would do, you know, peeps, the cat hating cat, and she woke up and started aggressively grooming izzy and then went back to sleep! she did at one point put her feet against izzy like she would kick her off the bed, but still. that is a big deal. and kahlo let me drag her up onto the bed to lay on me for a bit and she purred away and drooled a bit. she usually is all over me all the time, especially at night i have all of the cats up here, but since izzy, no one but peeps, who is just taking advantage of no other cats. and pavel has been avoiding us, and he is now starting to come up on the bed. i hate it because he has no relationship with the other cats (although he really seems interested in izzy) and is so close to jake, but has been staying off of the bed at night.

i am going to attempt to just lay here and veg out because i am seeing double. so.

mwah.
n.

so. i know, i have been absent. everyone knows why. a combo of lupus/cfs/fybro/migraines….and….ISOBEL. she eats my energy for breakfast. again, if you have children that are alive and have thrived…my hat is off to you. i am not wearing a hat, but you know, my hair hat. my kitten is off to you, anyway. so, i had a hectic weekend which involved errands on friday, the in-laws for dinner, they were gracious enough to come over here because izzy had been left alone for a few hours whilst i ran my errands and she doesn’t travel so well anymore. she is so fast. on the upside, she ran around downstairs and played the whole time we ate dinner, so she was pooped that night. i had a bad-ish headache and jake let me sleep in on saturday, which i hugely appreciated and then i went out to meet shannon (aka the knitgrrl), andi and lovely heather who unleashed her enormous stash of yarn on me (woot woot!) i felt guilty giving her two batts and charlotte sometimes (the pink bird with the white scarf, which is good because cleveland is cold!), so i will have to make her another package. all of the yarn is still sitting in bags in my bedroom, but i did look through all of it and ooh and aah. we met at ikea which is normally a bit more than an hour away in no traffic, i had a headache when i woke up still, but we had afun time and then by the time i was leaving, it was getting hurty. the traffic was backed up bumper to bumper all the way home, so it took me an extra 1 1/2 hours to get home. with the bad migraine. i actually got the panicky “i am stuck in a car an indeterminate amount of time away from home and i keep almost vomiting and i want to cry” thing going on. that night i totally conked out. let me add that i scored at ikea. i got these gigantor plastic bags…that thick plastic like the bags that mailmen use…from ikea that have handles and deep zippers, literally i could fit inside of the one, and the other is slightly smaller. i had to fight not to buy a bunch of em, but i can now take my stuff to the post office without having to attempt to hold the post office bag up over my shoulders to keep it from dragging. although, after my last deliveries of packages that made me have to do two trips, i think i will get pick up. i just don’t want to leave it outside, ya know?

so sunday, i did groceries and target and the pet store and then walmart because the pet store didn’t have the formula that izzy prefers…nay, the only one she will eat. so i spent the whole day out and today i woke up at 3pm and got no work done because i was so exhausted. so. to-morrow i am excited to do some of the halloween yarns and work on some buttons and get stuff listed. i have a stack of stuff. i feel like a jerk. i haven’t added much stuff in ages. gah!

wanna see some of the new neckywarmers with the handmade buttons?

not much else, i loaded up some new photos on flickr of izzy. she moves really fast, so they aren’t great, but they are cute…

she is all about getting into everything and if she is awake when i attempt to check my emails, she will run across the keyboard to hear the bong sound that the mac makes, swats at the screen and tries to eat the cord. the battery is dead on this laptop, so if she eats the cord, we have to buy a new one. so. if i move her or tap her on the snoot, she just goes right back to it, in a second. bad bad monkey. i actually lost my temper last night and just closed the computer. i would be a bad mom. she has pooped and peed on the floor by herself, which is good. we are trying to get her to use the litterbox, but she isn’t into it. i got the feline pine stuff because you aren’t supposed to use regular litter lest they eat it. i may need to get something different. additionally, i cannot get her to eat off of a spoon or saucer. she will only drink her milk and out of a bottle. really soon, she needs to get onto the 2nd step formula to get enough nutrition. i am mixing the two to get her used to it. wish us luck. all kittens, all the time.

i will take photos of some of the new knits and yarns. i have some ideas for some scarves with handmade felt roses. maybe fabric. i have loads. i dreamed about it.
eeeeee.

xoxo
n.

yesterday i had a migraine and then today i couldn’t wake up. i had to go to my in-laws’ to let the dog out and i hung out with her for a little while before i went home. i was super grumpy and exhausted and i thought i would just sit down and eat a nectarine before i packed up orders. well. i fell asleep at 1:40 pm or so and didn’t wake up until jake brought me dinner at 6 i think. i have a migraine and am medicated at the moment. i am out of my migraine med and the pharmacy was closed by the time i woke up, so i am trying to just stay off of the computer (i haven’t even checked mail yet at 9:35 p)lest i get really really sick. anyway, i just wanted to blog before i went to bed. or to sleep, rather. i missed the farmer’s market! bah!

barbe sent me some yarn she didn’t want and some other nice things (and she is getting some stuff in return because she is a sweet girl. don’t let her fool ya! she is a total softie! i should make a barbe softie. hee.) and the one yarn is sort of a mustard color with a brown yarn plied around it, it has a tigery or bee look to it. i made a lion amigurumi that is balding. i started to give him a full mane and then as i put it in, it looked like bad hair plugs on someone with pattern baldness and it clicked. i may give him facial hair, he already has sideburns. i also crocheted some soft wire along with the yarn for his arms so they are poseable. i will take photos to-morrow. i promise. i also got some awesome stuff for a swap that i will post. with the links, i am trying to really keep this short and sweet.

some photos…here is the top that i made from a huge crappy women’s old navy t-shirt. i completely took it apart and added a strap and a vintage button and added shaping to the body and a bit of shirring at the bottom on one side to make it a bit shorter, too. excuse my sweaty, lupus rashy face. it was really hot out. i was ready to swoon. that was the day that i took photos of everything with my makeshift light tent.
and here is the shadowbox i have been working on for a while. i plan to add dimensional grass made with different papers glued to cardstock at the bottom. it also has clouds all around the box. it is called jacob’s ladder, which was the stairway to heaven. after the grass not sure where it is going. i am not sure why i have been so creatively stumped with anything that is not just crafty. hmph.
these photos don’t have all of the clouds that i have added…

i will be listing some more batts to-morrow on luxe.etsy.com so pop by. oh, and i will also be listing another of the softies. woot.

okay, i am barely able to keep the eyes open.
mwah!
n.

i am having such issues with feeling lazy, etc. i had a hectic weekend, was exhausted sunday, shan came that night, we spent the day monday, i did NOTHING. no biggie. vacation day. on tuesday, donna came over just for a bit, i woke up late due to the headache from the night before. she left fairly early, the dentist called to say that they could squeeze me in to do my prep for the crown so i go in. i forget to remind the dentist that the regular novacaine or whatever it is makes me sick and doesn’t work so well on me. so, i was expecting that because i had the root canal already that they were just sticking my crown in. um…no. not so much. drill. drill. drill. different drill. another drill.

an hour and a half later, i walk out feeling queasy, migraine well on its way and my mouth and jaw hurts like hell. on the upside i knitted my 2 socks on one circular the whole time, which was the only thing that saved me from writhing around and acting like a crybaby. the main thing is, i didn’t expect it to hurt, so it made it worse, i think. i didn’t even drop any stitches! pretty good, eh? i don’t know how i lived without having portable crafty things to work on when i feel anxious.

whilst getting finished up there, filing down the temp crown, the assistant was talking to me about how her mom was dying of emphysema(sp?) and that her younger sister who lived in baltimore disappeared 4 years ago and there has never been any word of her since. they found her car in a bad neighborhood a few weeks after it happened and it had absolutely no fingerprints in it, including her own. nothing. there was no paper trail, so no one used her credit cards or anything. one of the things that i learned in the 10+ years that i owned the tattoo shop is that you have no idea what is going on inside anyone’s head. no idea what may or may not of happened to shape someone’s life. perfect, gorgeous women who seem like they would have it all got cancer and their husband left them. men whose wives took off and left their children behind. all kinds of things. before then, i always had a very hard time meeting new people. i always took everything personally. i thought everything was about me. in a negative way. which is even worse. and i know grown people who are like that. it is sad. they are people that no one wants to be around. people who can’t be happy for anyone. can’t empathize with anyone. think that whatever they have is better than what anyone else has, or worse, or whatever. it is just sad. i learned that it means a lot to people to have someone to open up to. even if you are a stranger. it means a lot to someone to have a little bit of kindness. to be a little bit spoiled. to feel special. even if it is the smallest thing, just for a moment. it is so easy to lose sight of that. to wallow in your own crap. i don’t ever want to be that person. i don’t ever want to lose sight of how much i have. i don’t want to lose sight of the fact that for all of the really hard days that i have where i feel awful, i have some that i am inspired. i am able to push through. i am able to roll around like a pig in mud in the fiber, the paint, the cats…my amazing friends who love me and never give up on me even when i haven’t talked to them in months, my family. and most of all, my jake, who has taught me that you really can have unconditional love and support. that someone really might think i am incredible…no matter what i grew up thinking or feeling. and that means so much to me. i think of those dark, miserable people who see everything as negative despite the fact that they usually have fairly easy lives all things considered. sad.

so where am i going with this? well, i have major guilt issues about being sick. about not feeling up to doing work. or cooking. or cleaning. or making phone calls. anything. and i know that all of us with health issues have the same guilt (don’t worry, i won’t mention any names) so i try to push it aside. but even still, i can’t help but wonder if someone else could push through it. i see how hard my jake works, waking up at 3:30a and getting home anywhere between 4p-6p and sometimes cooking dinner if i am not up to it. and never acting crappy about it. ever. or i see how hard shannon works, like the damn eveready bunny. or any number of other people who have their hands full with kids, and all sorts of other things. but there is nothing i can do about it. so i have to just accept it. i have to.

i am slowly learning to sew. i can put in a hidden zipper pretty well, it doesn’t scare me anymore. i used the bi-fold bias tape for the waistband of my one skirt and it looks really pretty. i have made a few things and have been doing sketches for some purses and tops and skirts. so that is exciting. i am going to attempt to sell some handpainted felt and fabrics, because i think color is my forte. the ironic thing is that growing up and in college, i was not a color person. i used dirty colors, and blood red, and that was really it. i don’t know how i lived without color. i wish i could go back in time. but i can’t. so in this life, i will try to be open to what i love and what i am really good at. i see people fighting that, they are good at something, but they want to be good at something else. they just won’t accept that it isn’t their thing. and it is a shame. so much of being happy and successful is accepting yourself as you are. striving for excellence is a fantastic thing, but some things, like me being a basketball player, are just not going to happen. and it is important to be realistic.

so, to drastically change subjects, here are some of the photos i had promised…here is my spring wreath. is it the cutest thing ever?

here is jake looking sexy in his yardwork clothes and steel toed shoes. seriously, he is such a sexy mofo. he thinks i am just saying it, and that you guys just say nice things to be…nice. so go ahead, leave him a comment telling him what you really think. i seriously am not sure how i lucked out like this. scccccooooooore!

here is kahlo’s hairless belly. she is a licker. i think it may be allergies, but she licks pretty much any part of herself that she can comfortably reach, her tummy, inner thighs, parts of her outer thighs, her feet, paws, etc, etc. anyway, the result is pink, cool as a cucumber and the softest thing you have ever felt. wanna see?

i finished my first pair of magic loop 2 at a time socks today and while they are not perfect, they came out okay. i will take a photo tomorrow. i need to make my dad a pair that promised for months ago and then jake is next in line. i let him try on my pair as i was knitting them (cuff down) and he said “ooh, it feels like i am not even wearing socks!” so i am excited to make him some. he said he wanted big thick ones for walking around the house in, so i think i might just spin up the yarn myself. in worsted weightish yarn it wouldn’t be that much yardage. my only concern is that a single ply will pill a bit. my other choice would be to buy some yarn or use sportweight doubled.

in music news, we got several new cds, amy windhouse being one of them and it is really fantastic. she is a 23 year old londoner and has a voice from beyond, amazing. they call it neo-soul. her voice reminds me of lauren hill a bit, but better and more consistent. also, lauryn hill made incredibly nasty racist comments against caucasians. not cool. we also got the fratelli’s new album. they are from glasgow and it appears to me that lots of good things do. it is a really good upbeat album that is good from start to finish. lots of fun. it reminds me of the commitments soundtrack. anyone remember that? good stuff.

we also have been really into murder by death. good stuff. i promise you. i will post some more soon, too. i need to get a new ipod. mine is a zillion years old and has to be plugged in and i can’t update it anymore, and is only 10G which holds a teeny fraction of the zillion cds we have. i forget all of the stuff we have because my memory is really bad and on ipod, it is there, you can listen to whatever you fancy. i am getting sleepy, so off i go. sigh. so so tired. man.

i love all of you guys. i hope you realize how much i have gained from having this blog…all of the things that have happened as a direct result of it. you rock!

xoxo
n.