luxe

i didn’t get up until 3pm today. i kept waking up last night and early this morning and izzy would be sitting there with one of her ponytail holders wanting me to throw it for her. i wonder how long she sits there for before i wake up. we really should get a video camera. i would probably catch them farting on my face or something. oh wait, they already do that. izzy is a gas machine. she regrets that her lack of bum cheeks makes them silent. poor kitten. when she was a baby, the actually made farty noises.

i got a bit of spinning done, i planned to update and then fell asleep with the computer, so you know how that goes. i do have a bit of stuff to show, though.

oh jeebus, i was talking to jake in the kitchen just now and thought that i might have posted whilst in the throws of a migraine. holy shit. i used to write in my journal sometimes and it was not even as bad as that. i think i was dozing off while typing and then snapping awake and writing down what i was dreaming. i was about to delete it, but jake told me not to so that people could see what migraines do to a poor unsuspecting brain. i didn’t even realize that i am quite that bad. i love the parts where you can tell i blanked out for a minute. or 15. who knows? i also love that i somehow posted to livejournal and blogger. here is to hoping that i didn’t do any migraine emailing. that could be bad. if i sent you a jumbled email outlining how your life is in danger and you should become a dog catcher, disregard it. gah! clearly i have been overdoing it a bit, but now that i have figured out how to overdo it, i am kind of riding the wave until it crashes. i guess that the fatigue and migraine seem worth it to me, although if i get one bad enough and end up in the hospital, i will probably be singing a different tune. anyway, i am foggy and tired today, but much better. here’s to hoping that i don’t get another one tonite, or at least, i keep it to myself.

while cruisng etsy slooking for somet nice papers and instread l find al of this strange ephemera and stuff. now, i guessi drifted off and t oen did seeing elephants at posh parties seving tea=, snf warm scones with clotted cream n jam.on a ferry. hanging out. all these questions swam aroujdy mimd and iknw i shouldn’t ask, but knew it would be gone soon if i didn’t. he asked me if i felt okay and let me mt rokkkklllklllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllld
so i am trying to get it out as ai fprget every second …the migraine easting up braincess. chomping. when you havce a migraine and take your meds for it, and the trt to spell the words so they know what you see, what this is all about and you cannot pul it goether. or you can for a second d=n…i felt like i just had t doooooooooooooooooooo something. i keep lookin at my hands to see where my needles are. even in my dreasm things are messed up. no one is allowed to go to schfool . i can spell. i saw a crazy attack on a sitting girl. i am seen=in gthins. i gkeep forgotenning what i awas going to saw because i have dozed off, but i sear i had impofa wnr i thought i was holding dish of food and no===but i am super hungry, although, deleriously tored too/

in my dream ym doctor told jake to give me massafes and i never told jake and when found out he was mad at me. but it never happened at all. just now, i thoguht that i was lying on a raft in the ocean with my leg up on the side and ialmost got flipped and it is far far away. i just woke up up again and woke myself up scared that i was falling into the icy water. i notice that a turnk full of my yarn is slipping into the water and then i snap awake again here typing. i go back and am in the strage section wwhere other people are freaking out and i trty to calm them down. i see some lovely old furniture, i take a gloved hand to dust it off and i wake up. kinda. dunno if this will make sense or it, my mind just pulling in all directions. migraine meds and a migraine do bad things to my poor brain trying to undersatnd where even aluna is going or meaning and then i lose the thought. now i am cooking, now…thinking of a friend getting pulled up by her waist like a circus performer and she is shocked and is sfrfeaj dj. i realize that i a am in bed with my laptop, husband, ktties, and am typing, slowblxccxxxxxxxxxxc dozing trying to help someone in my ffihgt ,tahtdidn’t wanna dye. i have a feeling that someone in out extended chain of friend or family is going to die, or be hurt vvery badly. i am so out of it that i have to shower and let the migraine do
be safe okay

i got some new and really lovely yarns listed on the luxe.etsy shop if you guys wanna pop on by. i plan to get some valentine’s yarns done this week, too. despite it being a bit late.

i am also hoping to get some of the circle collage pieces into the artstream studios valentine’s show. i need to send them for to-morrow, if it isn’t too late. if they don’t go there, i will list some of them. i have been having a lot of fun with them, i am interested to see where they go.

xo
n.

i swear that there is crack in the kitten food. she is manic. bonkers. crazy. at one point last night, or rather early this morning, she had brought all of her hair ties up onto the bed (6, i think.) i guess hoping that i would wake up and throw them for her to fetch. she also bites my face and arms, among other things. i already and a poo sleeper, but that kitten. gah! she mainly bugs me because the other cats will pop her one. ah, izzy.

i got orders packed up (but not presents. a daunting task that i keep putting off.) and a few yarns spun up today from some crazy batts. the batts had lots of loose fiber in them-bamboo, cotton, ecospun, so while i was spinning, bits where flinging all over the place which made me giggle everytime it happened, which it always does. it is like a fiber explosion. giggle. anyway, i will skein them to-morrow and show em off. i realized that i do miss doing the crazy stuff.

last night i did another of the millions of circles collages for a swap. i need to seal it still and put a hanger on it, but it went fast. whilst doing that, i realized that i need to organize the punched circles (i have hundreds) that i make in the future by color so i don’t have to dump out the bags of them. i only had to make many before figuring it out. right? riiight?

i hope to get at least some of the gifts packed up to-morrow. they all have multiple stuff in em, so it takes me a while to do each one. i don’t know how it takes me so long to pack stuff, but it really does. gah! i annoy myself. i really do.

wanna see some linkies?
first…i HAD to buy this. do you recognize that mug?do ya?
this lady’s work is…swooon!
for you bibliophiles out there nina is doing something i have never seen before.
and susan’s valentine’s show for charity.

xo
n.

so, we are back from iowa, the darkest, most dreary place ever. my mom complained of it, but i thought that everywhere that gets cold in the winter is the same. it isn’t, though. my lord. we had a nice time hanging out with my parents and seeing the niece and nephews who are getting really big. crazy stuff. our flight home got bumped back a day, but other than that, everything went smoothly.

one of my favorite people ever, gabe, watched the cats for us. poor pavel hid away the whole time, like he usually does. when we got back, he was super cuddly, which is not really his way. he tries to act cool (as boys do) but he has been hanging out with us most all of the time. he even let me hug and kiss him. surprisingly, the kitten was the one that held a brief grudge. a few mintues is a long time when you are only 4 months old. jake picked her up and she wouldn’t look at him. girls! otherwise, kahlo and peeps did fine and i think the really loved gabe. who doesn’t? thanks gabe!

whilst in iowa, there was obviously lot of political suits down there. my mom kept getting phone calls and she caucus-ed. go mom! i think oprah may have inspired her.

today i did more paper beads to use for stitchmarkers or whatever, really, and i got caught up on some custom yarns. to-morrow i will have to pack up presents and some orders, so if i owe you a present, it will be coming, i swear it. i swear. and now, after the xmas rush, it will be even cooler to get something, right? i have a few really good ones that i am excited to send out, one is for the yarn wench. ooooh. so excited. ms. barbe has some good things coming her way, as does ms.katrina and ms. chocolatte who has been incredibly good to me with random gifts when i don’t expect it.

i have been updating the www.luxe.etsy.com site daily and will have more stuff as soon as i get some photos done for new things. so much to do. i feel like this is a poo post, so off i go.

i missed you all! i haven’t talked to ya since last year!
xoxoxoxxo
n.

famous last words. i had the super sore throat, which is better. i am a bit hoarse, though. i have a fever and feel really tired now. i got up to do some spinning and then after doing the single, was covered in sweat, do i decided to chill out at that point. so. oh, and cramps. my uterus is a renagade. it always has been a bad seed. there is no talking to her.

yesterday i got a good bit done. packed some orders which jakie took to the post office for me and realized that i was missing some of the things i needed for orders. one of which had been dyed on saffron fiber and it didn’t dye all the way through. so whilst the roving looked bright, spun up, it would look kind of gray, pretty, but not anything like the roving. so i redyed another, which came out green on the yellow, which i wasn’t surprised by, it just didn’t do that before. gah. anyway! i also redyed a berry one because the photo was of another in the batch that looked totally different. i will probably send both, but the second came out sooooo pretty. i want it.

i listed a BUNCH of stuff on www.luxe.etsy.com…and there is more to come in the next few days, too. i listed some sock yarns that are at reduced prices, too.

most things are small batch or the last of a small batch, so don’t wait. kay?

for anyone getting xmas gifts from me, i am way behind on packing and sending. we are going to visit my family in iowa after xmas, so it will go out after we get back in january. and then it is a whole new thing, yeah? yeah! that sounds good, right? some people, katrino and ms. chocolatte are OWED from way back plus xmas. i don’t forget. i just take a while. i think the longer you wait, the more stuff you get though. from me, anyway. like, interest, yeah?

first, i added some new yarns to the www.luxe.etsy.com site and i am needing to take photos (among other things) of several other really swank ones and knits that i haven’t gotten up yet. gah. i am behind on everything and then i sit and stress about it because i don’t feel well enough to do the stuff and people need their orders and….gaaaaaaah!

i haven’t taken the car to get the broken windshield wiper fixed yet and it has snowed or rained everday so i haven’t been able to drive to the post office. not that i have felt well enough. i am exhausted and headachy and have had some fibromyalgia issues (i assume) that makes everything hurt and my limbs and extremities feel like i am on a bed of nails. and crampy. the bed of nails is a new thing. i haven’t been sleeping (again) and i think that is making things worse.

when i sleep…nightmares. like usual. last night, i had this nightmare that had these large mice that i was feeding and playing with and then they turned into these zombie things and then i realized that the cats were there, and had been exposed to who knows what from the mice and then kahlo was missing and i saw her running in a creek outside and then she transformed into a big cat and then a wolf (lupus?) and then into a man who turned and started shooting with a machine gun at everyone. there was actually way more to the dream, but i shook myself awake and lay in bed and read. i knew that if i got up, it would be worse, but i should have. then i had a bout of the heebie jeebies when i changed my patch and got paranoid that it would be all day. the skin crawling hot and cold sweats are more than i can handle. after a shower and bath (all by noon!) i felt okay to just sit in bed and read, but the pain was back and everything was so cramped up that i couldn’t really do anything. so then i get upset and stressy that my customers will hate me. i hate having to make excuses. they sound like excuses. ya know? i hate it. i hate complaining. i hate all of it. and then, one morning i wake up and feel kind of normal and can do stuff and i realize that i really am not lazy. i really don’t want to sit in bed all day in pajamas and no bra because i can’t stand anything squishing me. sorry for the moaning. waa waa.

anyway, i have high hopes for to-morrow. bigtime! off to do some catch-up knitting.

xo
n.

izzy fetches! i dunno how i just figured this out, she would bring me stuff all the time and i never thought to throw it for her. she just keeps bringing her hairties right back to me. i had another cat that also fetched, but she just looooves it. and she has more energy than 100 kittens, so this is a great discovery. my arm tires before she does. cute girl.

so in the news, yesterday, i went to the drugstore and my windshield wipers were frozen. i got everything defrosted and the wiper on the driver’s side doesn’t work. i didn’t have gloves on and it has been below freezing so i was out there swearing. if it weren’t for jake, i probably wouldn’t have even had a scraper. anyway, i ran to the store and wanted to stop a couple of other places but was afraid it would start snowing, even a bit, which would be really really bad since i had no wiper on my side. gah. and then today, it snowed all day and was freezing cold and there were all kinds of really bad accidents on the news, so i couldn’t go to the post office. i am really glad that jake is out of town this week. i get really freaked out when he has to drive to work when the roads are like this. and tonite the temps will be in the teens. so.

i have done a ton of spinning this week. i did some really cool ones today, too and one of them snapped whilst i was spinning it and lost the end into oblivion. any of you spinners had that happen? gaaaaah! i actually got up and left it when i was trying to skein that one. the worst part is it is this stupid pom pom yarn that i wasn’t going to ply and then decided it was to blah as a single and now i trashed half of it probably. and it took me forever. stupid. i had a bad migraine last night and actually showered, turned everything off and just lay in the dark, which is so not me, not matter what, and i woke up feeling hung over and crazy. i did about 6 hours of spinning even though i felt really crummy, but i feel really good about the fact that i have been pushing myself. i plan to tag and list some things tonite, too, and then photos to-morrow.

in the past few days, i keep reading and seeing and hearing things about being and doing what you want to be doing and being. from everywhere. i feel like someone is trying to tell me something. i have been really trying to figure out what i can do. there is this big give and take with my health that when i push, it pushes back. sometimes i am not sure when i am giving up too easily or if i am being smart. but in the end, am i really going to be glad that i took a break on this day or didn’t do this, you know?

i have always been amazed at anyone that can do one kind of work for their whole life. for example, someone that only makes yarn. i think that my flakiness in this regard is one of my worst attributes. i want to do everything. i want to know how. i want to be good at everything. no one is. the whole jack of all trades master of none, yet when i am too tired to be producing anything other than fiber, i feel guilty. i know it is stupid, but i have always been that way. there was a time in my life that i really did do it all. i was in bands, in school with a course overload, working full-time and then after that volunteering at multiple places at once. i start to get manic and not sleep when all of that happens. i get excitable and just can’t sleep and i end up getting really sick, and my body says “when”. even still, i don’t learn from it, i just feel guilty and less than what i should be. and that is just as bad as not doing what you could be doing. so what i am asking, i guess, is how do you know where your limits are? i always assumed that i would be able to get my MFA. i realized quickly that my health makes scheduling impossible. that broke my heart. but is it really a cop out?

so here is what it really is. i have to push as much as i can without pushing myself right over. i need to be more like little izzy…she lives in kitten glee and runs until she can’t. and the conks out.

i spoke to someone that had grown up in the same place forever and stayed because of kids and family, etc. some family members passed away and she realized that she didn’t have forever to be somewhere that she didn’t want to be. so she and her family moved across the country. i would love to do that. i know that for both jake and i, living in an area that you have lots of stuff going on and lots of people around is inspiring. and even more, i wish we lived somewhere warmer. this shite is utter misery. i haaaaate it. anyway. food for thought. i just need to make a plan for life, or rather lists of things we want to do and start working on it. time flies by so much faster every single year. it really does.

okay, off to tag some yarns and list em. go over the www.luxe.etsy.com site to check em out…

xoxo
n.

so here are some of the cool things i found lately on etsy. go and buy handmade goods people! and of course, my shop, too. go! now!

i spent the day doing yarn prep once i finally got up. i have been battling headaches and bad patches (an entire box of em was bad and holey) and i was up all night with a headache. so. i did get some new crocheted things for the shop ready, orders packed and the aforementioned yarn prep. hopefully i will have a bit of time to get some spinning done to-morrow, but we will see.

we watched alpha dog today, which got great reviews and it kinda sucks. the bulk of the acting is really poor. the story is really sad, but…

xo
n.