luxe

so, last night, the cats continued to fight and the kitten and pavel ran back and forth across the bed and us and the hole in the patch again and then, etc, etc, etc. le sigh. needless to say, me no sleepy. also, i have been kind of forgetting to eat, other than when i first get up, so i wake up late and am so hungry that i feel like i will barf. i need to really try to eat every couple of hours. i know that i am chubby because i don’t eat enough, oddly enough. gaaaaah! it is so ironic that we spend so much time trying NOT to eat when the secret is to not eat processed crap and to eat whenever you are hungry. how did that get so hard to figure out?

i took a pep pill, had some coffee and got to work packing up orders and then spun and plied 4 bulky bobbins (i think…) wound some, and tonite, got one knitted up for a swap. weee! i am afraid to say it, but i think i am caught up. is that possible? seriously?

i have some presents to make still, but i have either swapped or bought handmade for everyone.

i should be ashamed to admit i watch the real world on mtv. crappy reality shows are a bit of an addiction, but more than anything, i am generally amazed at how nasty people are to each other and the mob mentality. i am sure you know i have whined about my miserable childhood experience with just that, to the point that everyone seemed like the same group of people, regardless of where we had moved to. on this episode, the faux blonde, frosty haired, low rise sweatpants and too short shirt wearing thinks that she is hot due to her frosty hair flipped out on a non-faux blonde haired girl and pushed her down, as well as saying horribly things to her and it literally just brought all of the bile back up to see no one get mad, no one defend her, just to watch and think it is kind of funny. i dunno. i just don’t understand that stuff. people are mean. and then everyone is mad at her for saying that the girl has to go home. like it isn’t your own fault if you get violent with someone. and also she felt the need to let everyone know that she is a really religious “christian”. i know, i know, hate the sin, not the sinner, but it is hard to get how someone considers themselves christlike and acts so so mean. gah. i guess i just relate with the non-faux blonde. did i mention, gah? on the upside, all of the guys hated her, too. they just don’t get involved.

sorry for the rant. sorry. photos to-morrow.
xo
n.

i haven’t slept yet. yesterday i woke up with a bad migraine. i had a hair appt and i had to go because i had missed my appt before that and my hairdresser must hate me. anyway, the florescent lights there and the fumes (i guess) always make me sick. by the time i am getting the actual cut, after the color, i am shaky and jittery and feel crummy. so i end up doing nothing else on days that i get my hair done, unless i do it later in the day and do other stuff earlier. when i got home i had the lupus chilly sweats and took a shower to defrost a bit. i also took some meds and by the time i got out i felt human again. i changed my pain patch. at around 11p, i notice that i feel all jacked up again like i did the other night when i had the hole in the friggin patch. guess what? another hole! so, i haven’t slept yet. izzy was running around on the bed non stop (she finally fell asleep) and the cats were fighting and i just was overmedicated and felt yucky. so. i got NOTHING done today other than checking emails and a couple of phone calls. i really needed to get orders packed up, but alas! did not. so that will be the goal today along with some spinning, some listing fibers and yarns, etc. i think i am going to just get out of bed and do work shortly because i don’t think i will sleep.

i got the new william gibson book, spook country which is fluff, but i always enjoy his stuff. i don’t read much fluff, but i give in to ole’ william. also, i got the dr. oz book on cd, you on a diet which is basically like an owner’s manual for your body and how to manage your weight, not diet. how to understand how things work rather than waging war against your body. i don’t eat a lot at all, in fact, i am known for my picking since i was a little one, and i think that might actually be making me gain weight. it is good so far.

coffee and miniwheats time…
yay!
xo
n.

so, here are some of the long awaited photos of fibers. i have more on flickr, and more not photographed yet. i have 2 xmas yarns and more coming. i have been so behind trying to get caught up on spinning for orders that i haven’t gotten to do any new stuff other than those two. i have one more yarn to do and then i am caught up. so!

last night i had yet another issue with the stupid pain patches i use. it is a clear plastic patch with sort of a pouch inside of it that holds an alcohol goo that contains that pain medicine. it goes through your skin and is supposed to be on for 3 days. 3 days, got it? i put the patch on in the evening and at around midnight, i had a bad headache, was nauseous and felt super tired and out of sorts. i also realize that my back feels damp where the patch is. i touch it and my shirt is wet there and i try to dry the patch thinking maybe water got under the adhesive when i showered and i realize that the goo is coming out. when i took the patch of several hours after putting it on, it was bone dry. i got 3 days worth of pain medicine in a few hours. needless to say, i felt really out of it this morning when i woke up and couldn’t get out of bed until later…2 pm. not to mention that my insurance pays a fortune for the stupid patches that regularly have malfunctions. gah.

off i go.
i hope to get photos of new knits and get em listed to-morrow.
xo
n.

i had another day of getting lots done and even getting groceries! can you believe it? i am almost caught up on the yarns for orders. i have some to skein up, two fancy ones to spin and ply and i think that gets me back to start some new ones.

i popped into joann’s looking for the teeny christmas garlands that have bulbs and candy and things on em to no avail. i actually walked back out and didn’t buy ANYTHING! and i even had coupons! go me! so, i went to walmart instead of the nice grocery store and target out of shear laziness. we don’t go there so often because the lighting makes me want to have a seizure and the fruit and things like that are not so good. however, they did have good teeny xmas thingies for the yarns, so that was cool. i am keeping them secret, but let me just tell you that i have some REALLY good things up my sleeve. i was looking for red pom-poms and couldn’t find any. what is that all about? i actually might make some for the yarns i am planning. i have cheap red yarn from the giant crocheted stripy sculpture i have sitting here beside the bed, unstuffed and sad (who else makes an adult human sized crocheted sculpture and doesn’t just put the stuffing in already? who? meeeeeeee! anyway, i am excited to get this stuff made.

also, i am excited to get photos of the new fibers i dyed up. really pretty. also, at the request of the yarn yenta, heatherly, i dyed some sam i am sock yarn and have two 4 oz skeins of fingering if anyone wants first dibs. it will be listed in the next day or so. i love the thing 1 colors in it. so good. thanks heather!

it has been unseasonably warm still, not crazy warm, but enough that you could wear a warm sweater and be comfy outside. it started raining a little while ago and i am sure you all know how much i love the sound of the rain. and the smell. so nice.

after i saw izzy’s littermates that one time, i have never seen them again. we have been putting cat food out on the porch and someone is eating it, but we have no idea who. there is a big fluffy black cat that i see in the backyard now and then that might be izzy papa, and a little cat that looks like pavel that i assume is her mama, but we don’t know. jake saw that cat come out from under our porch, but we could be feeding the neighbor’s cat or squirrels or rats. who knows? we put the food out anyway. after i saw the kittens eating out of the garbage, we put food out. jake is good enough to make sure there is always food in the dish and water. when i first found peeps and kahlo, they were eating garbage and it actually hasn’t gotten out of their system 13 years later. they still gobble up their food and eat practically anything, even if it makes them sick. i have noticed that pavel and izzy, who were both raised from bottle, are rather picky. they eat their food and that is mostly it. pavel adores peanut butter, though. so.

i am off to do a bit of work before i go to sleep. photos to-morrow, i promise. oh, and here are some gorgeous gift idea links…
how about going to the www.luxe.etsy.com shop and picking up this poppy snap neckywarmer?
a different kind of heart necklace pronounced neck-a-la-chay. hee.
felted laptop cozies! from fabulous-fabulous. so cute!
amy bengston’s rosewood jewelry…swooooon. i found her via trunkt.com
and also found via trunkt.org, imogene bunny necklace. i lub it. lub!

and i lub you, too! LUB!!
n.

let me start by saying that when jake left here, i think the ghosts all came out. i hear pots and pans clattering in the kitchen where there are no open doors, windows or anyone. last night i just about crapped my pants when the hall light clicked itself on. it is a hard lightswitch to flip, i was sure that someone was in the house and about to come up the stairs. i went out in the hall (and i would do what?) to peek, and pavel is sitting on the handrail a few feet away from the switch. i don’t know that his paw would have the strength to do it, though? anyway, when none of the cats were looking freaked out, as they would if anyone was at the door, let alone in the house, i just figured it was a ghost or something. and barbe told me that a crank window shut itself about the same time last night…it was after midnight, maybe one…anyone else?

i had to blog right away because i got some books from amazon…the one that totally made me excited was the new book from knit knit which is a really cool zine about…knitting, although mostly in a more fiberartsy or fineartsy sense. this book is GORGEOUS and inspiring and i rarely say both of those things about a book. i didn’t realize that this book had patterns in it, i thought it would be like the zine, but it is a nice big book, wonderful layout, great photos and interviews…really exciting. so buy it! if you like the more unusual selvedge mag and fiberarts and stranger kinds of stuff….all of your idols will be in here. i promise. some of the designers had faces i had never seen before. it is strange how we imagine what people look like even if we don’t think we do. like reading a book and imagining what a character looks like and seeing the movie and getting annoyed that she doesn’t look right.

i got some work done today, but i feel really tired now. i have lots more to do and to-morrow is the last day before i leave. orders to pack, laundry to do, spinning, etc, etc. i also have been finishing up some of the softies i crocheted up a while ago, adding faces and wings and wire leggies. i will take photos if the weather is okay to-morrow. i have lots to show you, i promise. even when i don’t blog, i am usually plugging away at something. even if i only work on it in bed.

i will blog more later,
warm fuzzies
n.

i went onto amazon and blew all of it. 150 bucks on books. i luv it. as a kid, we really didn’t have many toys (my parents got over the toy thing in time for my much younger bro, lucky dog, you!) but we were always allowed to get a book whenever we went to the bookstore, or a record. thus, i still am a big book and music buyer. that and art supplies are the only things i tend to spend money on without feeling guilty. i hoard those things. we have loads of books. and i think all of us in the my family do, too. i have my parents to thank for that. no really. i could be hoarding milk glass or something. not that there is anything wrong with that.

i had a day of feeling strange and headachy and tired. i did spend hours on the phone blabbing to barbe rather than doing work. i really do feel odd. and really shakey. my hands are shaking like crazy. not sure what that is all about. jake is back in new york this week. i had him for my birthday on saturday and then he left sunday and i do really miss him. poor pavel has been really bummed out about his papa being gone. he keeps to himself. he already was acting strange because the other cats were being funny about the kitten, although i catch him hanging out with the kitten (or rather, letting her hang out with him) but he acts all aloof like he doesn’t know she is there, or playing with her, which is even more crazy. i hope they will be close. he needs a friend. other than jake, he is just not connected to anyone much. he will come and sit next to me when he is super lonely, but i am not his beloved papa. poor fella. when jake isn’t here, my horrible eating habits are even worse (is that possible?) and i am too lazy to cook something/have no food in the house other than cereal and yogurt, so ya know. if i was single i might starve to death. or eat cat food. which is really good quality stuff, i bet it would be healthy.

in other kitten news (i was just going to spell news “noose” um.) isobel is eating hard food! i got her this baby kitten food which has teeny pieces and she actually really likes it a lot. unfortunately, kahlo and peeps love it, too, so i have to feed her by herself, i let her come and get me when she is hungry. so. she has been acting like a little maniac hopping around and jumping and biting. i got her this halloween cat toy that is a plush ring with a face and bat wings and a tail which i put over her head and she attacks and it keeps her busy for a few minutes, although, if she decides that she will terrorize me or my computer or knitting or whatever, she will. and that is just the way it is. here she is being attacked by her halloween toy. it is trying to eat her.

i have some really purdy poppy scarfalettas ready to list, neckywarmers, yarn, so much stuff. i just need to take photos and list em. i feel so guilty about it. gah. here are some birds i got legs on finally. they stand up on their own! woot! and poseable, too. i had made the bodies and they sat around for months whilst i got the legs attached. i have a bunch of other featureless softies that need to be finished, too. i also need to list that zombie pirate….

i need to get some new clothes for fall. i got rid of all of the crap that didn’t fit, although i have some stuff that i still need to ditch, but i need some good pants and jeans. whilst looking online for some suggestions, i found this cool site that helps show you what jeans would suit your figure and needs best, and they do that for other things, too. for free! kewl? ya. i guess it is just to see if the jeans actually do look nice. ya know?

okay, i am going to try to feed the kitten and sleep a bit. thanks for all the birthday wishes. it makes me feel special. it does..

mwah!
n.

well, jakie is in new york all week for work, so i am at chez luxe, me and the kitties, on the strange schedule, eating strange food and making stuff. i do miss him, though. sweet boy.

i worked on yarns, prep work, etc, and i need to get some dyeing done (for you and me, shannon) to-morrow. today though, i have a case of the dizzies. i woke up with the migraine, like always, went through being nauseous and dizzy and it hasn’t really gone away. i am hoping it isn’t a precursor to feeling super bad to-morrow. that happens sometimes. also, i have to go to the pharmacy to pick up meds, so if i am still dizzy and migrainey, well, that is an issue. i can call my mom in law, she is a doll and would do anything for me. so wish me luck on that.

izzy was pretty good today. she attacked one of the novelty yarns i was cutting up for spider yarn, at the same time, attacking her feather toy and her mouse that i made her. she gives short attention span a whole new meaning. yet, at the same time, very single minded. she has this very strange humanity in her eyes, though. not like kahlo that just has kind, soulful eyes, izzy looks like a person sometimes, like she is someone i knew before. i don’t know who. as i speak. she is attacking the computer from behind and peeking around at me. so cute. give her a big 2 lb cone of yarn and she will keep herself busy. cute! now that she can use the litterbox and…oh, i forgot to tell you that she could get up and down the steps…FAST. it is amazing how quick she is. very coordinated for her age, i think.

did anyone check out the bionic woman? there are some people from battletar gallactica, so that is cool. i liked the first episode a lot. also, there is a show called journeyman that is good so far. also, i am loving brotherhood on showtime. the strange thing about that show (other than the really good rhode island accents that british actors are doing) is that a girl that i went to (one of the many)high school with is in it. she is my age (did i mention that my birthday is on the 6th? finally 22! yay!) but looks so different than she did. she was curvy in high school and is rail thin now. ages ago i saw this movie with john hurt in it about a man whose wife couldn’t have children and went nutso and tried to steal people’s kids. anyway, i realized that the woman who screamed “she took my baby!” was tina, too. it wierded me out. also, we have been watching weeds on hbo, which is really funny. i am reading saul bellows’ “adventures of augie march”. i tend to buy the really long books because if i actually like the characters and the story, i get bummed out when the book is over, so i try to get the longest ones i can. and if it sucks, i stop reading it. i won’t read stuff that sucks. ya know? i really want to reread oryx and crake my margaret atwood, which is one of my favorite books evah. i was actually so sad when the book was over (like i feel about most of her newer books) and then found myself wondering what the characters were doing, like they are alive. loved it. and rant, the new chuck p book, i need to read that one again, too. such a cool book.

jakie got me the new pinback cd for an early birthday pressie and some art supplies, cause he is really sweet. i like that guy, i really do.

i will attempt to blog about some of the issues i have wanted to talk about lately, but haven’t. so to-morrow, i will do my best. updates go first though. they do.

xo
n.

just a quickie. last night…NO SLEEP. none. okay, maybe an hour or something. i got up and showered and spent the entire day packing orders and swaps and things. mostly orders(shocking since i have barely added anything to the site. shameful!) anyway, i still have to do a couple more that popped up and i will have to get that done before i can go and mail em and go to the art supply and see my pal gabe. weee! i missed the farmers market. i was just too busy.

i feel like a zombie, but don’t feel awful, shockingly. i am hoping to fall asleep and stay asleep until the morning. izzy can go 6 hours without eating but she wakes me up to play. she is getting so incredibly fast, i notice differences in agility and things from day to day. it is amazing.

izzy is still farting wretched farts. so bad. i am so eager to do some spinning, especially some fun halloween yarns. i may do some that have beads or buttons that go along, like a kit for a neckywarmer or something. i know, i talk crap half the time, i am too tired or busy to get it finished. i would like to, though.

i got caught up on my emails, however, i will be behind on blogs forever. the luxe site is not updateable by me because of that stuff they did and i don’t want to drag jason, my friend that did the site for me, into a big ordeal when i know he has a girlfriend and big deal job, plus a life, so i don’t know what to do. since that update that zencart did, i can’t get onto my site and add anything. i would like a gallery, bio, etc, but it will have to wait i guess.

okay, i swear, new photos to-morrow.
mwah mwah mwah
n.

well. i have had a fit of the exhaustion again. 2 days of nothing, in addition to the day before that of doing little. i fight with myself to not get depressed. i fight to not feel lazy. i know that i can’t help it. it just sucks ass. yesterday i didn’t even shower! seriously. i am that wiped. i don’t read a book, knit, crochet, draw, talk on the phone (seriously!) nothing. i am too tired to get up and get coffee in the morning. the cats tell me that they will get it and then i find them napping in the laundry basket. man, they are worse than me. anyway, i do feel a bit better today than i did yesterday. i have my monthly doctor appt tomorrow, so if i feel like this, i will have to take my speed pills he gave me. they are great until it wears off and then you feel like your battery got yanked. so. what battery i have. i wish i could call mac and get a new one.

that said, i have not much to show, but the striped crocheted thingy i am working on is about half done. it has gone much faster than i thought it would. i need to start contacting galleries, but the thought freaks me out. i worked with some places after graduation and i hated the people. i made a point of distancing myself from them and going into tattooing so that i didn’t have to deal with all of that stuff. but the reality was that i didn’t really fit in there, either. i am a nerd. i am a snob. i know this, i have been called this. and i know it is true because it didn’t hurt my feelings at all. i don’t have a portfolio. or a resume. i don’t know how to do all of that stuff anymore and it scares the shit out of me. in fact, being successful scares me more than not. i worry that i would get shows or appearances or classes to teach and not be able to do it for health reasons. in a lot of ways, i am not sure if it is real or just in my head. i have lots of contacts that could steer my in the right direction, who to talk to, what steps i need to take. there are actually some great places in pittsburgh, a contemporary craft museum that has classes and wonderful shows, which i never go to because i am a hermit. a lazy hermit. shameful.

additionally, i am sure all of you that sell stuff online have noticed the steep nosedive that sales have taken. and i know that it isn’t just me. if it were just me, i would feel better about it, i would realize i just needed to change things up. the market is so oversaturated, it is even obvious in the blogging world, there are so many great blogs, you just can’t keep up. etsy is slammed. it has boomed so much that their system can’t even handle it. so where do we go? what is the next step? do we step out of the internet world and back into the real world where people can touch and see things in person? i think so. and i fight it, because i hate that stuff. i suck at it. i am disorganized. i need a manager. an assistant. gah.

i will post photos of the new pieces soon. i am putting some new things on www.luxe.etsy.com as well, so pop by if you fancy.

xo
n.

i have been a bit moody lately, really tired, craving chocos and cranky. really cranky. i am actually too tired to bitch, but i need to. tomorrow is a fresh day, right?

i belong to some softies and plushie groups on livejournal and i often get snarky comments about the creatures i make. they say that they are creepy and scary, or sometimes that they are a piece of crap, or insinuate that there is something wrong with me. the last few times i ignored it. this time, i felt messages saying that cute things are…cute. not problem. i like cute. kittens? love em! puppies? cuuuute! but there are other kinds of cute, other kinds of beauty, and actually i remember in college running into a brickwall because of peoples view that you should make harmless, beautiful things or else….they will beat you up with a puppy or something. the result of all of that, and i guess taking it as the view of me, myself, because i really got picked on a lot for being different growing up. i know we all did, some way worse than me, imagine, but the point is that i learned from a young age that i hate the traditionally pretty things. to such a large degree that i decided that i wouldn’t like something that i might like if i gave it a try because the assholes liked it. does that make any sense? additionally, like a porcupine, i made myself look more uninviting to keep away the kind of people that would hate me anyway. that was my thinking anyway. until recently, i didn’t really understand why i did it so intently. i saw it as being a stupid teenager. but it really wasn’t. it was self preservation and it was a smart thing to do. we moved really often, so my friends changed every couple of years at most, so no backup. why bother?

so now, i see those same people making stupid comments on things that i guess they can’t wrap their heads around. a fuzzy art toy. not meant for an infant to play with. they are meant to show their personalities, and that is what makes them who they are, and no hello kitty. i used to be into hello kitty. as a kid in the 70′s, i wanted it bad. before it full on broke mainstream, people started buying stuff for me wherever they could find it usually from a bigger city. i grew to not like her anymore. what does she do? what is she all about? what does she like? is she a republican? i want to know.

so it comes down to this…janeane garofalo said that the american public don’t care what goes in their eyehole, earhole, nosehole or mouthwhole, and sometimes i agree. make it palatable, that works just fine. sigh. i swear, i won’t sound so mean to-morrow.

i sketched up a couple of sculptures i dreamed of that i am working on now. i started the human form one, which i plan to make the size of a child and then probably some bigger ones, we will see. it is striped red and off-white. i have the head done down to the shoulders. the decreases were just as i went to try to shape. i probably should have taken notes. ah well. we will see how it comes out. i am excited about it. this was what i had started earlier, although i am much further along now, and next is the sketch of what it will be…
working on my desk. um. legs.

my basic design…

i am working on birdie legs for some of the softies so they can stand up better. the photo begs to have way more different scenarious taken, with different things on em, or by themselves, down the street…oooh oooh oooh!

oh, the mean polar bear sold! grrrr! there are a few more still up on my www.luxe.etsy.com shop.
off i go!
xo
n.