luxe

we had an okay weekend. jake left work way early in order to change his brakes, which he had done before (well, the rear ones and these were the front, which proved to be a different animal) anyway, he expected to be back in a couple of hours. i was up early having not slept, and had been doing spinning all day, so the time kind of went by. anyway, it ended up that he got home at 9p and still didn’t get the breaks fixed. i felt bad. he was so tired and annoyed and felt guilty for not spending time with me. i miss him when he is gone, but i got a lot of work done, so it really was fine. on a day that i feel okay, i am happy to do work. no biggie. i feel like i am the shite partner in this relationship, not he. he just has a lot to do. i understand. what else can you do? act like a jerk? i am not that sort. i know couples where the other is not allowed to do anything or go anywhere, whether it be to have a hobby or friends (which always disappear when you blow them off for many years) or to work on the car, i know people who are not so nice to their significant other. i have never really understood that. if jake only had 1 day off and he wanted to go play some blues with his friends, as long as he would have fun, i would want him to go. and he, me. we end up together most of the time, but i would like him to feel free to do whatever he wants to do. especially things he enjoys. he works so hard. he deserves to have some fun sometimes. anyway, as you can tell, i have been really paranoid that i am a bad, lame, boring wife/partner and just don’t do enough for him. for us. to keep things spicy and fun. i feel lazy. and selfish. when i feel well, i work on art or yarn stuff.

my studio is an explosion of all things art and fiber and desperately needs to be organized, but i don’t want to spend that little bit of time i have on cleaning up. i know that when the studio is clean, i like being in there more, but still, i can’t just pick up a bit at a time, i am easily overwhelmed and i can’t break things down. i see every detail. so. i need to. i have a sort of organising method in mind, i think it would work well. i also need to get rid of old clothes and i have some sewing to do. i need summer clothes, have lots of fabric and big tshirts to make into other things. so.

also, if anyone knows a local hairdresser that rocks, that knows how to do everything, that takes new classes all the time, that suggests new things and has a good sense of what looks good on who, let me know.

so, on friday, i got a lot of stuff done. lots of yarn. on saturday, i skeined up some yarn, some custom, and then went out and took photos of it, check out the flickr if you like. i have a couple more to do and i have a ton of fiber and yarn to list, plus my big electric carder from angela of material whirled will be coming tomorrow i hope, so that will rock. i hope to put it on a rolling cart that i use on the back deck to avoid making the house even more fiber covered. i am excited.

i have to get orders packed and one resent, etc, etc, etc. and potentially a very exciting thing to announce soon. i will keep you posted. as far as good news, i got accepted into a softie show called crammed organisms, there are several other people that got in that are excellent. i didn’t get into another one that i applied for and it bummed me out a bit. i don’t apply for shows ever, really, and that is something that i need to turn around. i have to do it. especially for my fine art pieces. i have to make myself do it. i also got invited to do what sounds like an amazing show in ireland, which i will keep you posted on. i am really excited about it. i just need to be organised to maximize the amount i get done, regardless of my energy. so.

i will be listing the mixed media collage/gouache pieces in my etsy shop soon. there is one in there now. i also will be listing some of the circle pieces, although a couple of them i have grown a deep attachment to, and will likely keep.

i also have some fantastic fiber charities that i want to tell you about, but i am not feeling so hot at the moment, so i will do that on the next post.

i have been paying for all the work and running around i did this weekend, which is okay. as long as i have something to pay for, rather than the sick sick sick with not cause.

here is some work i have had for a while. the amigurumi tree is new. i am planning to hone it a bit more and write up the easy pattern.

and the new yarns, one is organic brown cotton, gorgeously soft, veggie and fair trade, too! and the white one, is dye your own, it is uncarded bamboo and organic green cotton. so lovely.

oh, lastly, dunno if i mentioned it, but i would love to have some slipcovers made for my couch and two chairs. i don’t know anyone to ask. i would totally be happy to swap fiber or yarn for the sewing, or pay munny. anyone local interested, or know someone they can recommend?

xo
n.

so, firstly, thanks for the kind emails and phone calls. i have been really out of it. yesterday, i did some dyeing and apparently overdid it, i get so excited when i feel good enough to actually do stuff that i overdo. i talked on the phone, sat outside in the sunshine, did the dyeing, hung it up, sat outside and talked, dyed some more, hung it up, made dinner (jake didn’t know what to do with himself) i even packed up the leftovers for 2 days lunches for him. last night, not so good. i had a fever, but my body was cold, i had a bad headache, i think i vomited a couple of times, and to make it even more special, my nose was so stuffed up that i couldn’t breathe. it was a miserable night. the night before, i hadn’t slept at all, literally, and then got up and did all the stuff, so i guess it was payback. i didn’t get out of bed today. i kept trying to get up, but i would fall back asleep. at 5 pm when jake called, i was still in bed. insane, eh?

so let me just send a little note to a long time “friend”…hey lupus…you suck my ass. big time. i always say that we coexist and i accept it and it is okay. it isn’t. you seriously, seriously suck. and to make it even better, i can’t even use you as an excuse for having to leave things early, not go out at all, etc, etc, because it makes me feel like i am making excuses. and your buddies chronic fatigue, epstein bahr, fibromyalgia, migraine, arthritis, and the awesome bouts of anxiety and depression that hang out with you, they all suck ass too. bunch of freeloading arseholes. if you wanna hang around with me, you need to start paying some sort of rent. bring a bag of chips, chip in for all the medications…something.

i had a custom order for chocolate brown yarn, and for any of you non-dyeing gals and gents out there, brown is a very tricky color. i initially dyed the fiber, and it came out so not right that i decided to spin the yarn, ply it and then dye the finished yarn. it took two shots at that, and it still has some light spots, but it looks okay. unlike oil paints, the fiber dyes just don’t follow color theory. they are made up of so many different things that even on their own they pull out odd colors depending on the fiber. i have also heard that different pans can make colors change as well. i got some really pretty fiber. here are a few photos. i will be listing that and the other ton of fiber that i still haven’t gotten around to listing. and i finally am getting my my electric carder from angela. yay!

i also took a photo of this “peaks” i have been crocheting. i have some really really big ones. this one was crocheted with noro yarn meant for machine knitting. it is almost as thin as thread. so i used a teeny hook and it took me forever to make. i don’t know what they mean, but i feel compelled to draw and paint and make them. here is one, not stuffed yet, finger included for size…and dye stained nail. ew.

xo
n.

somehow i have been in a world of my own and didn’t realize that maryland sheep and wool festival is this coming weekend. i don’t think we will be going. i mean, i know that jake will go with me if i ask, i just haven’t made any plans, whatsoever, and haven’t been listing new stuff because i swear i have been sick for the last month, so i am broke, too. hm. who out there is going?

in other news, despite waking up feeling beaten (again), i got some dyeing done, talked on the phone a bit and then totally crashed out for hours. you know that kind of sleep that you are completely baffled when you wake up and look at the clock? the craziest part about it is that i have still be exhausted at night and falling asleep at 1 or 2a, despite sleeping until 7 or 8 sometimes. i have to get all of my lupus, fibro, cfs, etc, etc, etc, bloodwork done to make sure that there isn’t something up. i keep putting it off, like everything will be okay if i don’t get the tests done, ya know? my allergies have been crazy, too. for example, i have tears streaming out of my eyes right now and i am not sad. plus the constant snot dripples. sexxxxxy!

and a few links for ya…
how cool are these organ shaped water bottles? pretty damn cool, indeed.
and you can engrave your laptop, or moleskine, or whatevah at engrave your tech.com kewl!!!

more to-morrow.
n.

well, just a quick post to say that i am indeed alive, and that i appreciate that anyone is wondering about me. i have had the migraine from hell that just won’t go away. it kinda goes away and then comes back that night, or i wake up with it. when i don’t have a full on migraine, i feel out of sorts, so i know it is going to come back in a few hours, which it does. since i have had good migraine meds, i rarely get this knocked out, but once you get into the cycle, it is hard to get back out of it. i have actually had some projectile vomiting. seriously. for the migraine pros out there, you know how usually you feel it coming on. nauseous, dizzy, sweaty…these ones…i feel bad, my stomach hurts and then…i hurl. and hurl. and hurl. like when a little kid hurls out of the blue and you can tell they are surprised and then start crying? like that. it is very odd.

the only thing i could think of is that i got blow pops to put in with my orders, i usually don’t eat them. i have been eating them, a couple a day (i share with kahlo. bad. i know.) and i am really sensitive to tons of foods, scents, you name it. that is the only thing i have done different, so i wonder if something in there caused them. sounds odd.
otherwise, not much. jakie is going to be gone most of the day to-morrow, so i plan to get some fiberliciousness done in the meantime. let’s pray that the headache nonsense can just be over tonite. fingers crossed. i must say, vomiting and black spots and dizziness really don’t mix well with getting anything done. le sigh.

mwah
n.

so, where have a i been for like…a week? well, i had the curse, okay? cramps, crazy stomach, migraines (several) one that caused me to think i had accidentally poisoned myself (not sure on what or why, but ya know) and i kept puking up bile or something and was so dizzy and screwed up that i woke up jake, again, thinking that i was poisoned and if i lapsed into a coma, i wanted him to know what was going on. um. i have spent just about all of the weekend sleeping or puking. we were supposed to go out with butter and lauren, and i really wanted to, but i felt all screwed up and sick and it was a good decision because the aforementioned migraine happened that evening, and being out would have been a bad thing and probably made the migraine/vomiting bad enough to get me in the hospital, which i hate so very very much. once you get dehydrated, you are kinda screwed, ya know? i have had that odd feeling all week, so when i got the migraine, it made sense. i also have had the mega super snoot, so at one point, i told jake that his breath was gross and after he left the room, i could still smell it, so i realized that it was in my head. or something. le sigh. so we did nothing this weekend. well, jake did stuff, i lay around and did nothing. i did work on some paintings and sketches in between being super sick, but i didn’t even go online because i haven’t been able to see, etc, etc, etc. i am feeling better now, though. damn ovaries. nothing but trouble. ya know?

3 of the house mixed media pieces had a cup of wash water fall on them. it was izzy’s fault, she tends to reach up onto high shelves and knock stuff over, but it was mostly my fault for leaving anything out, so. i fixed them, used the matte medium mixed with gouache so the paint will not smudge, and i like them much better with the changes i made, although the linework is still not up to par. i haven’t painted in ages, so i am getting my hand back. it takes time, i know. wanna see em?

i have a bunch of good links for ya. so here…
http://www.petermarigold.com/
http://photoshopdisasters.blogspot.com/
watch this!
look at this…
and this
and this
watch this one

not much else to report, because well, i have been sleeping almost all of the time i have been incommunicado. i am hoping to feel good enough to get work done this week. i have been working on some polymer clay dolls, too. i will keep ya posted. i did some sketches, too.

oh, i watched the jacket with adrian brody and it was a fantastic movie. it was on hbo, and i thought it was the jackal because i didn’t have my glasses on (like usual) and my vision is getting much worse, but i get headaches from my glasses so i don’t wear them and can’t see. anyway,jake asked what the movie was and when i told him he said, the jacket, maybe? and i said…that makes way more sense. anyway, it reminded me of jacob’s ladder a bit, but it was really a cool movie. and surprisingly uplifting. in the end, it was just that no matter how bad life is, when it is over, you wish you were alive again. it is never too late to do things, it is always better to have another chance. so. also, we watched a few minutes of a movie called beerfest and i was amazed that movies like that are able to be made. of course, the guy that makes the girls gone wild videos is a gazillionaire, so, i shouldn’t be surprised that anything is done, really. ya know?

so, i am hoping that my period will be done to-morrow, i will feel good, my head will be clear, i won’t be dizzy, nauseous, tired, etc, and will be ready to get some stuff done. i haven’t done much spinning and i have been really eager to do so. so there we go. i have 2 custom yarns to do and i need to get stuff finished to send off for some shops, and i really need to get a current art portfolio together and try to get into some shows/galleries. we will see.

i missed you guys.
xo
n.

so you might wonder if i am posting from san francisco. if you do, well…no. ms. peeps had a severe fit of constipation, so bad that the voracious eater wouldn’t eat anything, not even tuna, and her belly was all hard and distended. we gave her a total of 3 enemas in 2 days, to no avail. the last two had a bit of oil in them and so she had greasy…leakage for the past couple of days that made the house smell oh so lovely. i felt like i had poo on me so i have showered even more than my usual two a day. grody. an hour after i needed to be at the airport, she started eating and clearly felt better. so. i was bummed out to not go, but i have actually gotten lots of stuff done here. when i get to be on whatever cracked out schedule i like, i get stuff done. especially when i am awake until the wee hours. plus this whole daylight savings nonsense throws me out of whack.

in non poop news, i got some other collage work done, the oval ghost house is done, plus a small canvas and another almost done, another just started. proof? okay…

i went to my local art supply and got some new watercolor pencils and sticks, one is called “inktense” by derwent, so i am hoping that can replace the pens. i also got some lining brushes, i opted for a value pack from there, that look to be decent quality, but i am so hard on brushes and i refuse to use the sable ones, so it worked best. leave me some feedback on the house series. i lub it. i really do.

i did some spinning today, i need to get some batts done, etc, and my studio is such a disaster, i really need to try to get it organized. it is gross, really.

xo
n.

ms. peeps is really constipated again, except that now, she isn’t eating. this cat is a super eater, even though she is really petite, she has always been a pig, so when she turns down tuna, i worry. we had one more of the pet-enemas, which we gave her to no avail, nothing. she pooed out the blue enema gel and some bum goo, but that was it. she also barfed up some bile (i assume) and was just really lethargic. she went down with jake and ate a tiny bit of tuna and drank some water, which i think may be all she has had in two days. i had a migraine that kept me in bed all day and i even slept last night. i woke up from a dead sleep at 3 a.m. (i think) and ran to the bathroom in a cold sweat and was sick as a dog. after showering, i got sick again and then fell asleep until this morning. i have had waves of nausea all day, too. maybe i got it from peeps. anyway, where that is going is that i was literally unconscious all day yesterday, so i have no idea if peeps ate at all, but i doubt it. she normally does come to see me, or will lie next to my legs, or in the bedroom, but most often she sleeps in the bathroom laundry basket/pile and over the last few days, she has been much more affectionate and clingy, which is odd when cats feel sick, they normally just want to be alone. anyway, she is really smelly, even though i tried to clean her up with baby wipes, so she will need at least a bum bath tomorrow. she has such a fuzzy bum. sigh.

that said, i am supposed to go to san francisco on monday and if peeps isn’t eating and looking better by sunday, i can’t go. i know from my sweet black cat egon, when they get sick, especially when they are older cats (peeps is 15, believe it or not), things can go bad fast and i can’t expect gabe to force feed her or to follow her around to see if she is eating drinking and cleaning her bum. so wish peeps luck, okay?

otherwise, i did get another of the ghost house mixed media collages done, i didn’t get photos yet, but here are a few action shots…

i initially was using fine tip brow ink and then using a wash over it for the outlining, like on the last house collage you saw, but the tips just don’t work so well over the different textures and gouache, they refuse to write every 5 seconds. eventually, i realized that i just need to get better at doing fine lines with a brush, and it went much better than i had expected. i do need to get a few new fine brushes and spend a bit more money on them. i have lots of japanese calligraphy brushes, but they are in bad condition from using them for washes. still, i feel like it came out okay. i am still having issues with the shingles on this one. i ramble.

i am sleepy, so off i go. snoooooooooore.
n.

ReG, originally uploaded by Chris Da SaXmAn.

so, if you have been wondering what this character has been up to, he is living in england with chris, and just making a total nuisance of himself. sorry chris.

i haven’t been able to sleep so well lately, or like last night, almost not at all. so i am a bit shaky, you know that feeling? i have been obsessively working on the house collages which are become more complex and i am starting to hammer out some of the issues and glitches. the one pictured here that appears finished (kinda) was finished until i kept fussing with the roof tiles until i got to the point where i am…i can’t stand the damn roof, so i need to rip that off and do it again. hopefully i can get it off withough causing damage to the piece, it really does take me quite a while to do. i sat outside although it was chilly to just sketch the shapes of the houses across the street and took some photos, just to have. i also trolled around flickr a while ago to look at other old house photos and found some incredible houses, some that look like the earth is trying to take them back, just amazing. i am interested in something like that, too. the house kitty corner from us here is really run down, but i love the way the siding looks, which i think i will use on the next one i work on, after the oval one in the photo. the oval one is actually done as far as all of the collage pieces are concerned, i really like how it looks so far, it is two houses in that one. i just need to outline all of the siding and roofing tiles and give it a little inkwash and go from there. i added a teensy bit more color to this one, don’t know what i will think o fthat. anyway, i am excited about these. anytime i draw a door or window on to the houses, they just don’t look right. it drives me nuts. don’t know what that is about. i need to go online and see what the word is. i do put chimneys though…so maybe it is saying something about being inside and letting things out but not letting anything in? although how does the house get its fuel if there are no doors or windows? hmmmm. anyway, i am really wanting to apply to some galleries, and get my portfolio together, my statement and try to do that. i will still do my fibery endeavors, but i really want to try to overcome my fear of getting that together, which then would mean i need to approach galleries and maybe get turned down…a lot. sigh. i just have to be a big girl and do it. and try to grow as an artist, in every way that i can. the thing that really is important is to treat it like a job and to do it no matter what, by a schedule. it you are training for a marathon and never go to your training sessions, chances are, you are in trouble. if you want to grow as an artist and don’t stick to your work schedule, same deal. you don’t just get better, or good, by osmosis. the artists i have known that are the most talented tend to be people that do work every day. it is their job. it is their love. it is who and what they are. being lazy doesn’t tend to yield results.

i am super sleepy, needless to say, but i wanted to pop in, les you think i am MIA. i have lots to show you and i am doing all i can to get all of the fiber weighed so i can list it tomorrow and over the weekend. so if you contacted me about something you wanted and didn’t get any message from me yet, shoot me another message. i am a flake. so. sorry about that.

i have been hyper and tired, forgetting to eat, wanting to sleep, can’t sleep, kinda hungry, don’t feel like actually eating, and we go to san francisco next week just for a few days. i am very excited to go! i get to see my super good friend barbe, rumor has it i am going to see diana fayt’s studio and i am hoping she will let me play with some clay. dunno. as you know, it was my focus for my degree and more and more i realize how much i miss it. i am excited to see everyone! we are only going to be there for 3 days when all is said and done, so not much time. kinda sucks. i will try to blog better to-morrow, i am just totally loopedy loopeyman.

i need to dye some fiber for a custom order and just get the studio and orders, etc, in order. it is seriously driving me nuts. i spent 16 minutes looking for my drafting rulers. i am sure when i buy more, i will fin the old ones. so damn annoying.

xo
n